


Mystery Deep In The Royal Heart

by shirewalker



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Artist Alina, Banter, Bickering, F/M, Pirates, Royals in Disguise, Running Away, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Swordfighting, Will add more tags as it goes, alina and nikolai be havin secret identities, rating will go up later on too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:30:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: Alina is the princess of the now gone kingdom Solis and before her engagement to the heir of Keramzin - the kingdom that took over her home - she goes on one final trip. On her way back, her ship is attacked by pirates, and also saved by pirates. Her saviour, a captain with an insufferable grin and more grace than many courtiers, wastes no time in letting her go in trade of... a kiss.Months later, Alina is forced to escape a terrible plot and finds her way to the ship of no one other than that very same captain. Flirtation and banter ensue. But soon her past will come back to haunt her. How will Alina's journey end?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is at last!! My big mystery project!! I have worked on it for months and let it simmer for also months haha, but I am excited to show you my bit pirates au for these two lovebirds! :D

 

_My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?_  
_To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?_  
_My oh my,do you wanna say goodbye?_  
_To rule the Country, baby, you and I?_  
  
_Little princess in a terrible mess_  
_A kingdom alone, but no love to confess_  
_Dreams of a prince on a tall white horse_  
_Runs like a spirit by the castle walls_

 

 

***

 

 

It was meant to be an uneventful trip. The first she had since being born and the last she would have until her marriage to the crown prince.

Just a small and secret trip to Ketterdam, to learn more about arts, to see a unique exhibition. And it had been. Until three days after their ship had left the port of Ketterdam and pirates attacked.

Not just one ship, though. No, their luck was quite unique on that. Two different pirate ships had attacked their little and inconspicuous ship, almost virtually at the same time.

Her breaths came out fast and loud, chest heaving with fear and the rush that came with that ancient survival instinct humans seemed to have. A pirate laid by her feet, unconscious, a dark lump growing fast on his dirty and greasy forehead. She gripped her block of wood so hard her knuckles turned white. And the glare she threw the other side of the lower deck was almost enough to crack the ship in two.

A smirk met the glare. Its tilt spoke of mischief and danger, of nights under the stars and stolen kisses between battles of wit. She bit the inside of her cheek, chastising herself for thinking such silly things at such a time.

“It seems my help isn’t needed, after all.” The owner of that damning smirk spoke after a moment. His voice took her by surprise. It wasn’t harsh and cold like that of the first pirate. No, it was… elegant. Refined. A light Ravkan accent brushing around the R’s. It was a voice that beckoned her in, that made her hold slacken just a bit. Ultimately, what made her look at this second pirate with wide eyes was that warmth that seemed so out of place in a pirate. The pirate walked up to her, a poise and elegance to his steps, as if he owned not only the ship but also the whole world.

Breaking the spell he seemed to have on her, she lifted the block of wood, “Not another step!” Her threat was serious, yet his smirk only widened to reveal perfect white teeth.

Again.

Out of place.

The pirate lifted his hands in surrender, “My beautiful lady,” He bowed, “I only came to help you. It seemed your companions had no idea where you were. Your absence could only mean a dangerous situation was either happening, or close to.”

She blinked, “What?”

“I came to rescue you from the clutches of that grimy dog.” He explained.

“You’re not a pirate? You’re not boarding this ship?”

The pirate seemed to struggle not to sigh at her words, “I prefer privateer, thank you. And well… I don’t think complete honesty will help my case right now, so I shall… withhold that information for the time being.” His speech was so polished and decorated she found herself imagining this was an encounter at court, not in the bowels of her ship.

“What are you babbling about?” She demanded, block of wood still high and aimed at the polished pirate.

Again, that smirk, “I like you, sunshine. I think I’ll give you a few days before coming after your ship.” He paused, “I might even let you go.”

She glared, “Maybe I should just hit you so hard you’ll forget your own name.” Her words were just a hiss, but the pirate understood them just as clear as if they had been shouted in his ear.

“Wonderful idea. But mine’s better. I’ll let you go without initiating any pursuit if…” The word hanged in the air like a tiny, struggling worm at the end of a hook. Bait. Wiggling in the air, waiting to be caught.

And she did, in spite of her better senses, “If…?”

He took another step and the block of wood rose higher. Blonde and perfectly shaped eyebrows rose, “If you lower that dangerous weapon, for a start.” A pause. And then she lowered it, keeping both hands on it. A new glint shined in his eyes but he said nothing of it, “Now, as I was saying… I’ll let you go, sunshine, if you give me two things.”

Dread sank in her stomach. A thousand different options rushed through her mind as her breath drew thin and her stomach grew heavier. A pirate making demands in the darkness of the ship’s lower deck? Without any witness at all? This bode nothing good, nothing good at all.

He watched her for a moment, his hazel eyes drawn and calculating. Then, “Not to worry, beautiful lady, I won’t demand your life or your virtue.” He added a wink for good measure, “What I ask of you is quite…” He waved a hand, “Trivial.”

She was growing tired of this game, and worried over the silence that had taken over the decks above her head, “What do you want pirate?”

He tskd, “Again with that word. Privateer, sunshine. Privateer.”

“Whatever. Just say your demands.”

“In a rush, are we?” When her glare grew so sharp it could almost cut him in half, the pirate smiled and let out a breath, “Very well. My demands are simple. I wish to know your name and…” Again with that bait. But this time she didn’t take it. She simply refused to do so. The pirate’s eyes sparkled with excitement. He was enjoying it. “A kiss.”

A what?

“Excuse me?” She bit out, offended that a pirate would demand her name and a kiss on top of it all. How dare he?! No matter how clean he was, no matter how handsome he might look in the dimmed light of the lower decks, she wasn’t about to kiss him. “I shall not!”

He tapped a finger against his lips, “Yes, two demands are a little too much… How about we keep the name a secret and I take just the kiss?”

“I refuse!”

His smirk grew dangerous and she instantly regretted her words, “You do? And how do you plan to escape my ship, sunshine? Do you have a secret sail that will capture all of the winds in this world? Do you have by any chance the Sea Whip somewhere in this ship?”

“Stop that.” She let out, her voice just a breath as fear took over her limbs. The block of wood grew heavy in her hands. Soon it would slip from her hold as sweat grew fast in her palms.

“Stop what?”

“Calling me that.” Of all the things she had to ask him to stop doing, this was what her brain decided to voice. She almost groaned at herself.

All signs of danger vanished from his smirk as laughter bubbled out of him, “You really are an incredible woman!” He shook his head, “But seeing as you refuse to offer your name, I can’t really stop calling you that, sunshine. Now,” He closed the distance between them and eased the block of wood out of her hands without meeting any resistance. Her heart thundered within her chest as her body became hyper aware of how close they stood now. “About that kiss…”

“I…” She thought it through… Pirates were untrustworthy. Always. Never to be trusted. But this one hadn’t touched her yet. He’d been polite. He’d been ready to stick his drawn sword through her attacker. She’d seen danger in his eyes, quickly replaced by surprise as he found her attacker unconscious by her feet. And he was right. Her ship had no special weapons, no secret ways to outrun a pirate ship. It was just a leisure ship, to be slow, to enjoy the view. Well-guarded, but never built to outrun other ships. When she’d chosen it, she had never thought to find herself in a situations such as this one. Perhaps… Perhaps a kiss in exchange for safe passage wouldn’t be so terrible. Even if it was her first kiss. “Just a kiss? And you won’t pursue us?”

He lifted a hand and tucked away a lock of her hair that had fallen to her eyes, “I swear on my honour, sunshine. Just one kiss and you’re free to go.”

She took a deep breath, steeling herself, “Very well. Do it.”

“You sound as though I’m about to cut your throat, sunshine. I want you to know, my kisses are not so easily won or given and they have never received any complaints whatsoever. Well,” He grinned, “Perhaps I’ve gotten complaints on not prolonging them, but never on their quality.”

Silence and a deadly glare.

“Just close your eyes and it’ll be over before you know it. Go on, close them. That’s right, sunshine. Before…” He cupped her face, his touch far gentler than she could have ever expected, “You…” His breath ticked her parted lips. It smelled of chocolate. “Know it…” He breathed. And then she felt it. That press of a kiss. Not against her lips as she’d expected. But on the corner of her mouth, his own never actually touching hers. “I look forward to the day that you admit to long for a kiss of mine.” The words were breathed into her mouth and then, just as she snapped her eyes open and readied herself to slap his face, the pirate was gone, the sounds of his steps up the stairs the only sign that he had ever been down there.

That… and the embarrassed blush that took over her body.

Because in the end, she had longed for that kiss.

 

* * *

 

“Princess Alina!” Alexei, her personal guard, mentor and one of the last members of the Solis court, rushed down the stairs. His hair was a mess, matted to his head by sweat and blood from a cut on his head. The strong smell of smoke and gunpowder followed him, his coat shredded to bits. His gaze fell on the unconscious pirate, “Your Highness, are you all right?” He said, carefully making sure the princess was unharmed.

She nodded, still dazed with what had just happened in the last few minutes, “Yes, Alexei. I’m all right. Wh-What’s going on?”

“It seems another ship…” He hesitated, as if he couldn’t believe what had happened, “Another pirate ship helped us, princess. They took care of the others and… Well, left.”

“They really left?” Until that moment she hadn’t been sure she believed the pirate’s words. His outlandish proposal had felt far too… outlandishly opportune.

“Yes. They’re gone. We’re… we can continue our journey back to Keramzin.” He shifted his feet, something else dying to be spoken.

“What is it, Alexei?” She asked, dreading what awful news he had to tell.

A blush coloured his cheeks, “My apologies, but… Maybe this trip wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

“Oh. For a moment I was worried you had bad news…” She looked down at her attacker, “Yes, I have to agree. Maybe leaving Keramzin like this wasn’t a good idea. But… Oh, Alexei. I’ve lived my whole life in Keramzin’s castle. This was my one chance to see the world. Or,” a corner of her lips lifted in a humourless smile, “At least a bit of it.”

Her guard nodded, “My apologies, my lady. I… forgot.”

“Even I did. Two pirate ships?” she sighed, “Perhaps we shouldn’t let the king know of all the details of today.” She said, not wishing to find out what would happen should he find out how close to dying she’d been up to a few minutes ago.

Alexei nodded. Then he stepped aside and offered his hand, guiding Alina upstairs.

 

* * *

 

She stood on deck and watched as the attacking ship’s remnants floated where it had been just two hours ago. Crew members cleaned the lower decks and got the sails ready. Her eyes lifted to the horizon where another ship grew smaller and smaller as it sailed away from them. Where she knew a certain pirate to be aboard.

He had guts and an insufferable sense of humour. Still, he’d kept his word.

Alina couldn’t help but wish they _had_ traded names. At least then she would be able to know who to be thankful to. Even if he had been insufferable and demanded a kiss.

Then again, maybe it was a good thing she didn’t know his name. If she ever found the pirate again, she might give him a piece of her mind. There were certainly a few things she hadn’t said thanks to her shock. Quite a few things.

And there was another thing that maybe she wouldn’t have minded to happen differently. But that… Now, that was something she would never admit. Even to herself.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ta-da!! not much happening YET, but I hope you enjoyed the start! :D
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is always so greatly appreciated <3<3<3<3<3


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

_\- Six months later._

 

 

Cold pinched her skin. Winter was coming.

Coloured leafs, red and orange and yellow and brown, fluttered through the air as the harsh wind carried the very last signs of autumn away. Soon the trees would be devoid of leafs and snow would cover the land.

Alina glanced once at the view from her room before hurrying back to her dresser. She grabbed two large satchels she’d gotten from a servant. One she stuffed with clothes. Pants, a winter dress, some night clothes and underwear and as many shirts as she could gather. A heavy, olive-green coat laid thrown over her bed, next to a dark and drab-looking cloak. These she’d taken from a guard’s room, his build similar to hers, thankfully.

Her breathing became more and more erratic as the minutes ticked by and silence stretched on. She was alone, no one had come for her.

A frown grew on her face for a moment, her eyes on the clock that stood on her mantle. Seconds ticked, tick by, seemingly slow and fast and slow and fast, holding her attention for a moment too long. She shook herself free of this spell and hurried to her desk. Her other satchel was quickly filled with as many art supplies as she could put in there without it growing too heavy. Her books. She paused, her gaze lingering on the small shelf she’d filled since she’d became of age. Before that day no book had been really hers. After… She’d gotten as many as she could without raising suspicion. A Solis princess raiding the closest book shops? She couldn’t be planning anything good.

After a moment of hesitation that stretched on for two long minutes, Alina finally stepped closer to her shelf and took out three of her favourite books. A pang hit her heart as she walked away from the rest of her collection without another glance. She couldn’t look back. It would be too hard to walk away if she did.

She looked out the window again. The wind had picked up and the night was starting to stretch on. She looked at her door.

It was time.

 

* * *

 

The streets weren’t as empty as she’d expected this time of the night. All her trips outside the castle walls had been during the day, one or two right after sunset for a special holiday. Alina had never actually seen the rest of her future kingdom after dark so it was surprising to still see people out and about. Booths were still open in the busiest streets and men and women wearing flashy clothes and makeup drifted through the darker alleys. Pubs had their doors wide open and their candle lights poured out and into the street, washing the stones in a pale, slightly sickly-looking shade of yellow. Music and laughter drifted about, the sounds of fights cracking through the apparent peaceful sounds.

She’d left those streets behind after noticing a couple of suspicious figures following her.

Now she hurried through dark alleys, no soul walking through these shadowed places. Her pursuers had disappeared two or three turns ago, but she couldn’t stop to breathe. She needed to run.

A door opened wide, a shaft of yellow light hitting her eyes as a cat raced outside.

“Don’t forget I’ll lock everything up in half an hour, you ninny!” An older woman shouted after the cat, its black fur becoming one with the shadows in half a heartbeat. Dark eyes found Alina’s small frame as she tried to hide behind a barrel. “What’cha doin’ there, young thing?” Alina remained silent and the woman put her hands on her hips and rose an eyebrow. Or at least it sounded as she’d done that, her tone growing like that of a scolding mother, “Young thing. I’m talking to you. What’cha doin’ out here all alone? Don’cha know these parts are not safe to walk through alone at this time?” The woman caught her by the arm and Alina yelped. Warmth lit up the woman’s eyes as she took in the panicked look on Alina’s face. “Young thing, are you hiding?”

Alina nodded, “Yes… Please, don’t…”

The woman shook her head and pulled her back inside, “I would never do such thing. Who are you hiding from?” Alina’s silence was her only reply. The woman heaved a long sigh, “Very well. Sit, I have some warm milk I’ll bring to you.”

A breath of relief blew out of Alina’s cracked lips, “Thank you.”

Milk and bread were set down in front of her, “It’s nothin’. Now, if you won’t tell me who you’re runnin’ from… Where are you runnin’ to?”

Alina got ready to shut up, distrust ruling her every move and decision. But there was something in the woman’s dark eyes that beckoned the truth. A warmth. Honesty. Defiance should she need to protect this stranger from her pursuers. So she spoke, “I… I need to get away. Just… Find a ship that’ll take me somewhere safe. Or a ship that’ll be safe at least.” She mumbled between sips of her milk and bites of her bread. It surprised her how much this simple meal seemed to make her feel better already, but then again, her last meal had been many, many hours ago.

Her host hummed and crossed her arms, eyes up in deep thinking. Then, “My son is the port master. He can help you. He knows every ship and their captains. He’ll know how to help you.”

Relief never tasted so sweet, “Oh thank you so much! Can I go now?”

The woman tsked, “Not a chance, young thing. It’s best you wait for the mornin’. Streets will be busier and safer and whoever is after you will have lost your scent. Come, I have a bed you can sleep in.”

Alina eyed her food and then the door. Time was something she didn’t have to spare. But her host was right, she would be caught as soon as she stepped outside. Just because she’d lost her tail for a while, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t find her again. She followed the woman up the stairs and into a bedroom small enough to have just a bed and a side table.

“You’ll be all right here. I’ll wake you up in the mornin’ when it’s safe.” Then she left, closing the door behind her. Alina noticed the key was on her side. She locked it.

And then she settled down and slept a restless sleep.

 

* * *

 

“You remember everythin’ I told you?” Miss Kuya said, watchful eyes glancing up and down the street. In the morning light it was a whole new world. Not empty and dark, full of traps and dangerous wanderers. In the morning it was bursting with life, people of all walks of life out and about. Some traveling, some working. Many laughing, many yawning. Booths had sprouted off the ground in the hours since Alina had fallen asleep. Cries on fresh fish mingle with shouts on apples as red as blood. There’s music, this one much different from the night one. This is a lighter and merrier tune. As if the bard had not a care in the world and the world had everything to offer. It brought her a shred of hope. Tiny and barely touchable, but hope nevertheless.

Alina nodded at her host, eternal gratitude spilling off her shy smile, “Yes, Miss Kuya. I remember.”

Miss Kuya shook her head, “I told you, call me Anya. Now, make sure to go only through the path I told you. Nothin’ better to get lost and caught than to stray from the path.”

She nodded again, her grip tight on her traveling bag. Her satchels had been stuffed into the bag that Anya had so feverously insisted on Alina to have. “It’s sturdier and better to keep your things safe and unseen. No one ever pays a second thought to this kind of bags.” An extra blanket and some dry snacks had been stored inside it as well at her insistence.

“I know. I’ll go right away.” She took a step into the main street.

Anya called her once more, “And good luck with everything, young thing. I hope whatever you’re running from gets what it deserves soon enough.” Then she waved her hand and stood by her door, watching as Alina walked away and became one with the crowd.

 

* * *

 

Three knocks. Three skipped heartbeats.

“Enter!” A deep and rough voice called from inside.

Steeling herself, Alina cracked the door open and stepped through the threshold and into a small but elegantly decorated office. At its centre stood a sturdy desk, of a wood so dark it was nearly black. On its surface were neat piles of papers and books, kept in place by heavily carved rocks of all kinds. A young man, perhaps ten years older than her at most, sat on a chair that matched the desk perfectly, his light grey suit strikingly bright against the dark wood.

He set down his pen and put away the inkpot. Then his gaze fell on her. He nodded, dark hair perfectly smoothed over his head and tied back in a ribbon that Alina recognized from Anya Kuya’s sewing kit. “How can I help you?” He inquired.

She was surprised by the paradoxical aspect of his voice. It was rough like sandpaper on wood, yet it had a polite tone that seemed to belong in softer and much less harsh voices. She shook her head and took out a small letter from her breast pocket, “Your mother sent me.”

Understanding flashed in his eyes before the port master took the letter. He tore it open and gestured towards another chair, “Please sit.” Alina did as told, noticing how this chair, while less beautiful than his own, was just as comfortable as the port master’s chair. Perhaps he liked to be just as good a host as his mother.

After five minutes that seemed to stretch for five centuries, Anya’s son folded the letter in four and sat down. His deep brown eyes settled on Alina. The urge to bolt out of there began to unfold inside her. “My mother says you need help leaving Keramzin. Why?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line and kept the truth to no one but herself.

The port master sighed. Then, he took out a box of matches, a glass bowl and set the letter on fire. As the two watched the paper burn like children hypnotised by a magician’s hand tricks, he spoke again, “I am Fedyor Kuya, the port master. Through my office pass people of all sorts. Only a handful of them ever tell me why they need my permission, my seal or my help. I never believe those.” His eyes snap back to hers, “It’s the ones that turn white as chalk when asked about the why that I believe.”

“Why?” She uttered, her throat as dry as the ashes that now laid in the bowl.

Fedyor shrugged, “I don’t know, in all honesty. I just feel that these are the ones that really need to leave.” He paused, lacing his fingers atop the paper he’d been writing on, “Now… Do you have any preference on where to go and how?”

She frowned, “What do you mean?”

“A legitimate ship? Where you will most likely clean the decks and be stored in a small room for yourself and away of the rest of the crew, a majority of them male and without respect for others.” He droned on, although Alina noticed an edge to his words. “Or a less legitimate ship? Granted, things won’t be much different from the first choice, but I know a few first-mates that owe me a favour or two. I can easily ask them to protect you.” He cocked his head, “But suspicions might rise faster this way. The crew might notice you’re not what you play to be.”

Alina weighted his words and their implications. A legitimate ship would probably be safer, on any other situation. This time though… It would be the first to be searched. The first to receive orders and information. The first to give her up.

She opened her mouth, but just as she had taken a breath, another knock sounded on the door. Panic froze her in place. They were here, they had found her, they were going to take her. They were going kill her.

“Calm down. By the singular knock, it’s probably one of those first-mates I mentioned.” Fedyor said. He offered her a glass of water and then ordered the incomer to enter. His eyes sparked with amusement, “Ah. Tamar. My favourite first-mate.”

Alina followed his gaze. Closing the door behind her, was a petite woman. Hair as dark as night and cut short to her skull, a grin that seemed to reflect the light pouring in from the window and the most striking thing of all… Amber eyes, golden if the light hit them at the right angle. Tamar nodded at Fedyor, “You know very well sweet talking to me isn’t going to change who I am or your chances.”

The port master shook his head and sank down on his chair once more, “You break my heart every time, Tamar.” He seemed to remember Alina was there and why, “Tamar, I have a favour to ask of you.”

The first-mate glanced at Alina, “Fedyor…” she started, her tone tired. Exhausted. Alina wondered how many favours Fedyor had asked before to warrant this reaction.

Fedyor sat up straighter, “Tamar, this young lady needs the best help she can get. I honestly can’t think of anyone else but you. And your captain, of course.” When Tamar refused to meet him in the eye, the port master blew out a long breath, “Please. My mother sent her.”

Her golden eyes fell on Alina and she felt there was some silent conversation hovering in the air, a conversation she would never hear or understand. Tamar sighed, “Who are you?” It took Alina one full moment before she realised the question was directed at her.

She swallowed down, “I…” Her gaze flickered between Tamar, Fedyor and the closed door. “I can’t tell you…”

Tamar seemed to understand. She nodded at the port master, “Girl talk. Be a gentleman and go outside, Tolya has some papers you should check out.” Fedyor left without hesitation. When the door locked behind him, Tamar chuckled, “I wish I could be there to see his face when Tolya shows him his latest epic poetry draft.” She sat on the port master’s chair and leaned back, as if it was hers and hers alone. “Now… I need to know a little about you before I can promise any help. Preferably the why.” When Alina remained silent she added, “I will deal with the captain. He doesn’t need to know if you don’t want him to. But I have to. I cannot vouch for you if I don’t know the truth.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” she whispered, heart beating like a wild horse’s.

Tamar’s eyes shined, “You don’t. But you can. I would rather carve my chest open before betraying someone’s trust.”

Gruesome, but honest. Alina drank the rest of her water. She nodded, “All right… I’ll tell you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the stage is being set, aha! sorry, no nikolai yet x)
> 
>  
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling is the best <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alina joins the ship and finds a certain hazel-eyed captain

 

 

 

This was perhaps one of the most terrifying things in Alina’s life: trusting the truth to a complete stranger in whose hands her fate laid. Tamar could easily use the truth to her favour, she could have lied to Alina about keeping it a secret from everyone. A million awful scenarios could very well have happened. Many, many of them ending with her death.

But in the end, the first-mate of the Volkvolny did nothing of the sorts.

A long moment after Alina finished her tale, Tamar nodded, got up and walked to the door. All without saying a word. After a long pause, as Alina’s panic began to run loose yet again, Tamar glanced back at her and waved her over, “Come, Alina. The Volkvolny will offer you safe passage.” Alina couldn’t believe her words. Could it be? She got up in a flash, a thousand words of gratitude already on her lips when Tamar lifted a hand and shook her head a bit, “No, you don’t have to say anything. What you have to do is think on what you want and can tell to the captain and what you can offer while aboard our ship.”

She drew her eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“If you’re just a passenger, it will raise suspicion. You’ll have to offer some kind of services in order to be accepted by the crew. They are trustworthy, but that doesn’t matter when it comes to you and your situation. If you do nothing, they will begin to wonder who you are and why you’re on our ship. That can easily result in loose tongues when we port, if you know what I mean. But… If you do something, even if not particularly good, they’ll blame it on the captain’s unusual humour. No chances of loose tongues at all.”

“Humour?”

A corner of Tamar’s lips lifted in a wicked smirk, “Sometimes he recruits untalented sailors for the challenge. Sometimes he recruits people with one particular skill that probably isn’t really useful aboard a ship, of all places. But he does that nevertheless. If you have anything of the sorts, your presence won’t be discussed much. And the captain won’t ask much either.” She paused, “So, are you ready?”

Alina stopped to think. Skills? She didn’t have anything useful when working in a ship. She painted, drew and sketched and sometimes tinkered on fixing furniture and frames. Mainly the varnish and the paint work, which would probably be her best shot in this case, though still a slim one. She had great reading skills. Faster than anyone she had met during her secluded life. Maps? They were of great interest to her but could her unusual curiosity of the world outside of Keramzin be of any use? Finally, she shrugged, “I’m not sure I have anything that might interest the captain, but I have some… _talents_.”

Tamar smiled, “That will be good enough.”

 

* * *

 

Even though only a few crew members spared her a fleeting glance, Alina couldn’t shake off the feeling that all eyes were on her. All. Eyes. Watching, noticing every detail about her, waiting for the right time to snitch to her pursuers. They could be just around the corner watching every ship, every sailor and whatnot, waiting to catch a glimpse of her. Waiting—

“Alina?” Tamar called. She blinked, forcing down her over-thinking and over-grown worries that were already far too heavy on her shoulders. Tamar rose her eyebrows in a silent question. Alina shook her head and after a moment the first-mate walked her through an elegant looking door.

The two walked up a few steps and then through a short corridor made of red-tinged wood. They passed by three closed doors, all panelled with thick glass that allowed to see just the bare shadowed shapes within each room. Tamar pointed at the door to their right, “That’s my room. If you ever need me, you can find me there. Tolya sleeps over there.” She pointed at the first door they’d passed by. Finally, they reached the end of the corridor and stopped in front of a door that was just like the previous ones, except for all the intricate carvings that decorated its frame and the golden handle that drew an awed gasp out of Alina. It was shaped like the Sea Whip, a mythological creature of Ravka. As a child, she’d sneaked into the palace library plenty of times to read all the fairy and folk tales she could get her hands on. The Ravkan ones were by far her favourite ones. She noticed then that the carvings on the frame were the vague shapes of waves, matching the handle in its stylised but clear design. Someone was a fan of the Sea Whip.

Tamar knocked twice and a voice answered from inside. Just then, something seemed to spark to life deep in Alina’s mind, but she couldn’t quite figure out what. After a moment, the first-mate opened the door and walked in, gesturing for Alina to follow. “Kapitan, we have a new recruit.” Alina followed her gaze.

There, standing by the farthest window, hands clasped behind his back, stood a tall and young man clad in an exquisite teal frock coat. The morning sun shined through the panelled glass and shafts of golden light hit his hair, turning it into pure, molten gold. Alina almost stopped breathing at the sight, if he hadn’t turned and she finally saw his face.

It couldn’t be.

It couldn’t.

A blonde eyebrow rose, “Another, Tamar?” His gaze fell on Alina and her body froze. Something seemed to shine deep in that hazel that haunted her dreams, even though she couldn’t really make it out from this far. It didn’t matter. Their colour and shape had been imprinted in her mind, forever. Panic rose in her blood. Recognition, that something in his eyes was recognition for sure. He knew who she was and he knew she was no random recruit looking for safe passage. And worst of all, he knew where she should be right now. Oh saints. Of all the ships…!

Tamar saluted, “No, sir. This is Alina, she needs safe passage until we reach safe shores.”

The captain cocked his head and took a few steps in their direction, “Is that so?” He leaned on his desk and watched her intently. Hard as it might be, Alina tried to remain calm under the calculating gaze. She counted the seconds until he would give her away. Any moment now. “Alina, is that right?” She nodded, a little taken aback by the tone in his voice. As if… As if he didn’t know her at all. Could it be? “Why do you need safe passage? What makes you think this is your best choice?”

“I…” her throat was dry as sand paper. She coughed a little, “I was told by someone of trust that your ship is my best bet. And…”

“I can vouch for her, Kapitan.” Tamar interrupted, saving her from telling the truth or coming up with a lie with so many holes it would be a net.

The captain nodded, “Very well. And why should I let you come with us?” He raised a hand, “I’m not talking about money; you can put it away.” He said just as Alina had taken out a bag of gold. “I meant what you have to offer to the Volkvolny. Everyone here works, one way or another. No one slouches, no one naps – unless it’s after work – and no one is a tourist.” His lips curved into a teasing smirk, “Not even me. Shocking, I know.” He got up and wandered through the cabin. It was a rather big space, bigger than Alina had imagined a captain’s cabin to be, but then again, this ship was bigger than she had remembered it. Big but light. Alina didn’t know ships, but she recognized practicality in designs. This ship had been built to be fast, but without cramping up its crew. The captain stopped by a framed map, its paper old and so yellow it was almost light brown. “So, what do you have to offer?”

She glanced at Tamar, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. Tamar nodded as an encouraging smile played on her lips for a fleeting second. Alina bit her lip and looked back at the captain, mentally listing all her skills by usefulness. “I know maps.” He rose an unimpressed eyebrow and Alina cringed at her first choice. She needed to do better, “I know all kinds of maps. Patterns, colours, hidden messages.” The eyebrow rose a little higher. The captain grew interested. His eyes seemed to tell her to go on. She did, “I paint, a lot. And draw too. I’m very good with fast sketches. I know how to fix wood paint and varnish works too.” Was she speaking too fast? Was her voice higher than usual? She couldn’t tell, not when her heart seemed to be beating so loud in her ears, the sound muting out everything else. “And I’m a fast reader.” She finished, taking in a gulp of fresh air and holding it in.

The captain hadn’t stopped looking at her, his face stuck in a mildly interested expression. Alina waited, desperately hanging on to hope. Now that she was here, it struck her how much she hoped this would work, so much she had no backup plan at all.

He looked away and turned back to the old map, “Can you restore old maps?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Restore maps. Can you figure out what is missing in them? Like in this one?” He pointed at the framed map and her gaze followed his.

“I… Depends on what is missing and its condition.” Perhaps honesty wasn’t her best plan of action right now, but for some reason, Alina found it hard to outwardly lie to the captain.

“Hum…” He pursed his lips. For a moment that felt like an eternity, the captain didn’t speak or move. Then he looked up, startling Alina with the sudden movement. He turned to Tamar, “Can she stay with you?”

Tamar nodded, “Yes, I have an extra bed.”

“Very well.” He turned to Alina and she allowed herself a tiny breath of relief. The captain wasn’t sending her away. At least no one would offer a bed to someone they were going to send away. Right? “You’ll stick with Tamar. She’ll give you some jobs to do. As of now, some doors do need new varnish, so you can start with that.” He sat down on a plush sofa, his coat vanishing in the teal brocade, “Do you have any skills with weapons?” She shook her head. “We’ll see to that too.” He tapped a finger on his lips. Alina’s eyes followed that movement and for a moment she was back on her ship, just a breath away from his kiss. “And I won’t mind if you do sketches of the crew and the places we visit once in a while. As documentation, of course.” He added as an afterthought, snatching Alina’s attention back to the present. A smile grew on his lips, all mischievous edges. He knew what she was thinking. He knew who she was! “You can go now, settle down. We’ll leave in half an hour.”

 

* * *

 

“You can have the left bunk.” Tamar pointed to a small bed, covered in folded sheets and a thick burgundy blanket. It was as though the bed had been waiting for her arrival. Tamar opened the small porthole and the sounds from the port came pouring in. The lively crowd, the seagulls’ cries, the ship groaning, the sea dancing all around it. “This bedside table is yours, the drawers are empty so you can store in it your things. They all have locks, for safety and privacy.” The first-mate continued, pointing at each item. The bedside table, the drawers, the key peacefully settled into the keyhole of the top drawer. Waiting to be used. “These two,” She pointed at the two lamps sticking out of the wall, “I’ll take care of them every night. They’re lit with oil, which is rationed. Any other light source will be solely through candles. Which I have a few, including candlesticks. I’ll give you some tonight.”

Alina nodded all along, watching the small space with reverence. Freedom. Her own private – well, semi-private – place, with locks included. A smile seemed to bloom on her face. Bloom. Ridiculous, but it felt that way. Tamar’s hard and professional gaze softened when she looked her way. Alina’s relief was most likely plastered on her face.

“You’re safe. Sit down, sort your things. I’ll come for you in an hour. For a tour around the ship and to introduce you to the crew. Is that all right for you?” Alina nodded. Her vocal cords seemed out of business in that moment, her relief too big to let her body work properly. Tamar smiled, “Very well. I’ll go now. Call me if you need anything.”

And then she was alone.

Unexpected tears of relief welled up in her eyes, only to spill away the very next moment. Sobs climbed up her throat, getting lodged in it for a moment before shaking free out of her. Alina curled up on herself and lied on the soft blanket and finally allowed every overwhelming emotion to spill away from her. Her sobs shook her to the bones and her tears soaked up the lovely blanket and still she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. After the first tear, Alina found it impossible to stop every one that followed.

Safe.

She was safe.

As safe as one could be in a pirate ship. But safe, nevertheless. She felt it deep in her gut, lodged in the spaces between her bones. Tamar and Sturmhond would help her, in their own way. She didn’t know how or why, but they would. Something in their words, in their offers… It didn’t feel too good to be true, it felt… just right.

Steps sounded outside the door and she pressed a hand to her mouth, snuffing out her sobs. The footfalls sounded louder for a moment, stopped for half a very long second and then continued their journey. Her hand fell away and she breathed out. Whoever it was, Alina didn’t want them to hear her crying. They would ask why and she wouldn’t be able to explain.

Sadness. Anger. Happiness. Relief. The options were plenty and each one as true as the previous. Bottom line, she suspected her body had stored away too many extreme emotions in too short a time and this was everything spilling over at last.

Several minutes passed by, her sobs subsided to heavy breaths, her tears dried out on her flushed cheeks. Alina sat up, feeling as worn out as she had the previous night upon lying on that bed. She looked for a tissue and cleaned up her face and nose before kneeling in front of her small bedside table.

It was half the size of the one she had back in the castle. But this one had locks in every drawer. She opened all drawers and sure enough, Tamar was right. There was nothing inside any of them. Not even dust. Alina turned to her traveling bag and took out her two satchels and the food Miss Kuya had offered her.

First drawer got the food. Second drawer got her clothes. Third drawer got her night clothes and underwear, all neatly stored into a soft, opaque bag that Miss Kuya had offered as well. And the final drawer got her art supplies. Her books… Alina sat back up and looked around. At her bed’s foot was a small shelf, nailed to the wall. Just as her bedside table, the shelf was empty, save for a lonely candlestick.

Sadness for not being able to bring with her all of her art supplies and books momentarily took over, before Alina was able to focus on the task at hand. Put the books on the shelf. Make her bed. Sit down and rest. Live to see another day. Simple as that.

Her tears had dried out. Her emotions had balanced and her hands no longer shook with every breath.

She could do this.

She would do this.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not much happened here, but I hope that re-meeting was exciting enough ;D
> 
> comments/fangirling/etc is awesome as heck and it warms my lonely heart <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ship tour!

 

 

 

Just on time, Tamar had come for her.

“I’ll make it quick and easy for you.” She promised and locked the door behind them.

Alina had changed into a fresh pair of pants and tied her hair into a messy braid that fell down her back. She needed to feel free and unrestrained. “All right. I have good memory, so you don’t have to worry about repeating things.”

“I will repeat them anyway. I won’t be with you every moment and you need to know how to handle the ship and its crew.” Tamar said, her grin shining in the sunlight.

Alina followed her, tears and sobs now part of a distant past. Midday was upon them by now and the crew seemed to be divided between work and lunch break. A loud, half-drunken song stopped mid-note as the two stepped into the opening. All across the deck, Alina felt everyone pause. Not out of fear, but respect. The crew respected Tamar so much they almost feared her.

But there was also curiosity. There was someone new aboard and they were dying to know more.

Tamar beckoned Alina over, “So, how much do you know about ships?”

She glanced around, doing her best to remember what she’d read on ships. “The general? Masts, deck, types of ships by canons…”

“Good, that helps. I won’t teach you every little thing in detail in one go. Most of it you’ll learn with time.” She pointed at one large barrel, “There’s the fresh water we keep on deck. It’s just enough so we can drink without having to go to the hold to where we keep the rest. Food and other supplies are stored there too.” She walked along the main deck and pointed at the ropes around the mast, “Do you know knots?”

Alina shook her head, “Never got the hang of it. I read on them, but…” she shrugged.

“The theory will only help you so much.” Tamar finished the thought. She nodded, “Well, teaching you knots will keep you plenty occupied.” They walked down the stairs to the gun-deck. Two rows of silent black canons slept in their spots, none in need at the moment, “This is the gun-deck, obviously. You don’t have to worry about it, just stay away from the area when we’re in action.” Tamar nodded towards a door behind them, “There’s the kitchen; we’ll visit it later.” She walked down more stairs with Alina close by, “This is the crew’s quarters. Over here is the common area,” Alina noticed two small tables with benches on either side, a handful of forgotten metal mugs on their surface. A few more large barrels stood in a corner and she figured they were probably fresh water and the crew’s favoured alcoholic drink. She could almost hear the nights of party, when the drink was a bit too much and the action a bit too little. Singing and fighting, cheers and silly arguments. She had seen a little of that life when aboard her ship, though she suspected here things would be much less proper, especially since no one knew who she was. Tamar continued across the space and pointed at the hammocks that hanged behind a wooden wall, the surface dotted with knife holes and writings of all sorts, “Sleeping area. You won’t need to worry about that, though, since you’re with me.” She winked.

Alina poked a nearby lamp and looked around, “Gambling?”

A dangerous smirk flashed on the first-mate’s face, “Illegal, of course. But that doesn’t stop them from playing.”

“Stakes?”

“No money, of course. We allow pebbles and such. Once on land, they can trade for money among each other though.”

Alina cocked her head, “Isn’t that practically the same?”

Tamar shrugged, “It is, but not to them. At least it helps keeping things smooth during uneventful times. Why do you ask? Planning on breaking the rules?” She rose an inquisitive eyebrow.

“No,” Alina shook her head, “I’m awful at gambling. But I was curious, since I always heard of gambling being illegal on ships, yet everyone did it.”

“Men.” Tamar said and laughed, “They can’t handle being idle. Can’t stay alone with their thoughts for too long, I suppose.”

For a moment Alina felt sympathetic with those men, as she herself found it harder and harder to be alone with her own thoughts these days. Still, she knew what Tamar meant and smiled, “Yes, I’d wager that too.” And then laughed at the ironic choice of words.

Tamar chuckled and waved her back up the stairs, “Below are the supplies, you don’t really need to see them. Come, let’s go to the kitchen now.”

 

* * *

 

“Alina, this is Boris and we are now in his lair.” Tamar announced as they stepped into the warm room, a fire already burning fast in a corner.

A small yet bulky man complained in a dialect somewhat familiar to Alina. She tried to pin down where she knew it from but the thought was quick to turn to smoke in her hands before she could succeed. The cook cursed again and banged on a table, “Bataar! I told you many times, this is not my lair. It is my kitchen!”

Laughter shook Tamar as she sat on a stool, “Boris, of course it’s your lair. You don’t allow anyone in here. Especially to help. Did you know, Alina, Boris here refuses to take in apprentices? We always have to put our newcomers in other positions.”

Boris huffed and passed a hand over a sideburn before turning back to the food, “I do not have time to teach from scratch. Find me an apprentice that knows how to cook, I will take them.” He aimed a carrot at Tamar for emphasis. Then his gaze fell on Alina, his light eyes shining in a stray shaft of light, “Who is this?”

“Boris, this is Alina. She’s a new recruit.” She rose her hands and stopped the cook before he could utter another word, “She’s staying with me. I’m just showing her the ship.”

The cook huffed again, though this time the sound was more satisfied-sounding than the previous huff. Alina found herself wondering how many times Tamar or Sturmhond had tried to bring in a cooking apprentice.

Tamar hoped off her stool and walked back to the door, “Come, Alina. I’ll see you later, Boris.”

“Yes, yes. Goodbye!” He said with a grunt, carrots practically being murdered under his harsh peeling.

“A pleasure meeting you.” Alina quickly said before following Tamar. Boris huffed something similar to a reply, or so she thought it was.

“Don’t worry, he’s a good person.” Tamar said as soon as the door was shut.

“A bit grumpy, no?” She said, glancing over her shoulder.

Tamar chuckled, “Comes with the package. He’s like an old dog, barks a lot but doesn’t really bite. Unless it’s a serious business. Don’t let his small size fool you, Boris is an excellent shooter and swordsman. He just prefers the kitchen as his battleground.” Footsteps came from above and the next moment two young men were walking down the stairs.

Alina was startled with how similar they looked. Twins? Upon a longer glance, though, she noticed one was taller and looked older than the other by ten years or so and their eyes and noses were very different. The taller one had near-black eyes and a straight nose, while the other had light brown eyes and a crooked nose. It didn’t look naturally crooked; perhaps a scar from life as a pirate?

“Taking a break, Andrei? And just as usual, you have to bring your brother in tow.” Tamar said and crossed her arms in a manner that reminded Alina of Miss Kuya the night they’d met.

The smaller man grunted, “We’ve been working non-stop since sunrise. I need a nap.” His voice was rough as sandpaper on wood and bordering on cold.

Tamar rose an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Very well, but don’t oversleep, Andrei. Same goes to you, Petyr.”

The two men grunted and nodded before vanishing into the crew’s quarters.

She turned to Alina, “They _have_ been working non-stop, but we can’t let them think we’re not keeping an eye on them. The crew can grow lazy when the hierarchic lines grow blurry.” The explanation was offered in a low tone, just enough to not be heard by the brothers. Alina wondered if these two were repeat offenders, having taken a few too many naps in the past. Or maybe Tamar just like to play it safe, to make sure no one forgot who they answered to.

“Will I hear similar speeches too?” She asked, making sure her tone was a little serious and a little playful.

Tamar chuckled, “You’re a special guest, but I will say something if I see you slacking off for too long.” She winked before nodding in the stairs direction, “Let’s go, Alina. There’s a few more things I want to tell you about the ship and there’s also the rest of the crew to meet.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Alina laid back on her bed, Tamar had introduced her to everyone on board and to every life-saving knot. She’d quizzed Alina on the masts and which was the fore mast or the mizzen mast and on what she knew on the sails. Alina had answered as well as she knew while earning some fancy scratches on her palms, the harsh ropes digging into her tender skin.

Meeting the crew hadn’t been as daunting as she’d expected. They were all busy with their work, only stopping for long enough to nod and acknowledge her presence, and none were scary as she had expected pirates to be. Even more surprising, there were three more women among the crew.

“That’s Marie.” Tamar had said, nodding at a young and slender woman that climbed down the mast, “She has a fantastic aim but you’ll see her often up on the crow’s nest.”

Marie jumped on deck and dusted off her pants before shaking Alina’s hand, “Nice to meet you, Alina. Good to have another lady aboard.”

“Stop that.”

“What?” She widened her eyes, a look of pure innocence.

“She just got here, you can’t go flirting around like that.”

Marie rolled her eyes and turned to Alina, “I wasn’t flirting, rest assured. Plus, I have someone back home.”

Tamar snorted, “Yes, your cat.”

“I am devoted to my cat, thank you very much!”

“Doesn’t stop you.”

Marie looked back at Alina, “She’s saying all that but she never even looked my way. Completely in love with my sister, that’s why.”

For the first time since meeting the first-mate, Alina saw a healthy blush colour Tamar’s cheeks. Marie laughed and waved goodbye, announcing she had to go bother Boris now. Tamar had refused to acknowledge her until the woman was gone.

“She’s the worst.”

“Sister?” Alina inquired, curious as to who this sister was since she’d met all women on the ship and none had seemed intimate with Tamar, nor had she seemed intimate with them.

“Nadia. She lives in the port city we spend most of our time at.” Tamar quickly explained, a hand going straight to a pale pink ribbon that adored her vest. “Let’s get you back to our room, shall we? You’ve had a long day and even gotten some christening cuts on your hands.”

The dismissal was obvious.

It wasn’t that Tamar didn’t trust Alina with Nadia. She’d seen the longing in her eyes. Tamar missed this Nadia very dearly and talking about her wasn’t what she wanted to do in that moment. She understood and respected that. And so, Alina let herself be herded back to her room where she rested now.

It had been a long day, but not once had Alina felt out of place or unsafe.

Sturmhond’s ship had been her best choice after all.

She hoped this sense of security was here to last.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Alina needed to grow acquainted with her new home, right? Sorryyy no Nikolai *hides*
> 
> comments/fangirling is awesome and so sexy!


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

 

Days went by in a somewhat comfortable blur.

Alina learned knots until she knew them by heart. Tamar introduced her to more and more nautical terms and what to do in case they were attacked by an enemy ship or should a violent storm hit them sooner than expected. She learned how to work with the longboats and when to use them and how. And in between all that, she fixed doors.

To anyone else, such task was probably the most boring of all when compared to others.

But to Alina, it was wonderful to put her knowledge to use. She wasn’t just tinkering with her things when she had a break from parading and being paraded around, she was actually helping. Doing her job and being congratulated by it. Boris had been the first client and he had been ecstatic over what she did with his door. If by ecstatic it means providing Alina with a mug of hot chocolate. Tamar’s eyebrows had nearly disappeared into her hairline when she found Alina with that mug in her hands. It had been the best hot chocolate she had ever tasted, and she had had plenty of hot chocolate in her whole life.

Once the doors were done, Alina was left without an official task to do. So she helped around. Carrying boxes, cleaning the canons and the guns, checking the ropes. A routine settled in and soon Alina began to feel herself loosen up. The knots on her shoulders, the hold on her lungs, the erratic beating of her heart. Her nights grew calmer as well, the company and tasks and sea air helping her mind relax. Her nightmares grew fewer.

Safe.

She began to feel _safe_.

 

* * *

 

Alina laid on the forecastle, her back against the foremast and the sun on her skin. With smudged fingers and the tip of her tongue sticking out in deep concentration, Alina sketched away a painting she’d seen on one of Alexei’s old books, the memory having woken her up earlier than her usual time. She’d been back in Keramzin’s palace, sitting in a room that reminded her of the drawing room but opened into a strange library of sorts. Its windows were wide open, the sound of waves rushing in. Alexei had been tutoring her on the history of turtle houses and how to build a tower of cinnamon rolls. And then he’d opened a book that hadn’t been in his hands and showed it to her. As soon as Alina’s eyes fell on the painting, her mind had stirred awake. Fear had tipped her over, an irrational fear that had risen at the realisation that the book in question had been destroyed because of that particular painting. Her nightmares of Keramzin always ended in a similar way.

But for once, Alina didn’t chase away the strange dream. Instead, she got up, had breakfast and looked for a quiet spot where she could sketch her idea – or memory – before it had a chance to fade away.

A voice broke through her concentration. Orders were being given and quickly put to action. She glanced over her shoulder and thanked the saints for the extra ropes and fabric that offered her some cover. Sturmhond stood by the helm, teal coat billowing in the breeze, golden hair shinning under the morning sunlight. He looked as perfect as a painting. Alina blinked, surprised with that thought and turned back to her sketch, ignoring the blush that now heated her cheeks. Sturmhond finished giving his orders and went quiet, no doubt steering the ship as he kept a watchful eye on the crew.

Alina hadn’t crossed paths with the captain of the Volkvolny as often as she had expected. He would either spend a great amount of his time inside his quarters or by the helm, being a captain. His waking hours were earlier than hers as well, so she never bumped into him while exiting her room. But they were on a ship, and encounters were bound to happen. The few one on one encounters they’d shared had been quite… Professional, she would say. Sturmhond asked about her tasks, about her stay on the ship and congratulated her on what had been done already. Of course, Alina always felt something else was being said between the spoken words, some sort of teasing, or flirt. But the captain never went any further than that, and Alina never thought much of it. While around him. At night, however, as memories of their first meeting always came back to haunt her, Alina always found herself wondering if she was simply reading too much into his words. If she was just wishing the captain remembered her and wanted to have fun watching her squirm under the fear of being recognized.

“What a wonderful drawing.” His voice, much closer than she thought it should be, shattered straight through those thoughts and startled her out of her silly daydreams, a screech escaping her before she could cover her mouth.

“What the hell?!” She hissed, thankful that for once her pencil hadn’t been working at the moment of the scare. For once daydreaming had been useful. Then, dread drained her face of any colour as she realised she’d disrespected her supposed captain. “Oh, no. I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to say that!” She quickly added, looking up in panic.

Sturmhond smiled down on her, leaning on the railing, as casual as ever, “If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. I did startle you. Almost ruined a perfectly good drawing if you hadn’t been lost in thought right then.” He said, nodding at her sketchbook.

“Oh. All right. Yes, thankfully for that…” She muttered, both angry and thankful at the captain. _He_ was the reason she had been lost in thought, just as he was the reason she had almost ruined her drawing. So, equal parts thankful and angry. “Was there something you needed from me?” She said, after a silent pause that stretched on for longer than her prickly skin liked. His gaze on hers felt too… baring. As though he could see right through her.

Sturmhond just smiled. Then, under Alina’s panicked gaze, he crouched down and sat right next to her, thighs just a breath away from touching.

As much as she wanted to not look his way, Alina found it near impossible to tear her gaze away from the young captain. When his eyes found hers again, she realised their hazel was much more intricate than her memory had registered. Deep caramel swirls and beautiful bits of emerald green scattered through. An infinitesimal circle of pure golden right around the pupil and on the outer rims, deep green shades that reminded Alina of the sea at night. Deep, dark, soothing, a never-ending mystery.

“You should breathe.” He said, a smile all over his words.

Foolish. Stupid. Ridiculous.

Alina cursed herself and the new blush that crept over her face. Why couldn’t she pretend this man’s presence didn’t affect her at all? Why did she have to go overboard and stare straight into his eyes? And to be completely mesmerized over them, on top of it all!

Of course Sturmhond didn’t miss the signs and therefore, the chance to tease her. Of course!

“Not to worry, Alina. It’s only natural when you find yourself up close to a wonder of nature such as me. Many young women and men have laid down their weapons just at the mere sight of yours truly.” A dramatic sigh left his lips, “The woes of being ridiculously handsome.”

She wanted to roll her eyes hard enough to see her brain. Ridiculous and with an ego far too large for the ship. This man didn’t cease to surprise her, it seemed.

As Alina remained silent, her attention now forcefully on her sketch once more, Sturmhond spoke again, undeterred by the silence, “Is it a real place or an imagined one?”

The question took her by surprise, “What?”

He nodded at her sketch, “The drawing. That place. Real or fictional?”

“Oh. Huh… No longer real…” She replied, utter sadness clawing into her heart.

“I’m sorry…” His voice was soft and tender.

“Why?”

“You sound as though… It’s something you lost.”

Alina shrugged, “I… Well… I never went there. But growing up I always enjoyed going through an old book that had pictures of this place. Sun Gardens, it was called.” She smiled, “I saw this picture so many times that by the time I could no longer see it I was able to just picture it in my mind.”

“Why weren’t you able to see that picture anymore?” Sturmhond said, his clever gaze never leaving hers. Of course, of all the things she’d just said, it was that particular detail that had stirred his curiosity.

She looked away once more, “The book was… lost.”

He nodded and leaned his head back, resting it against the barrel he’d leaned on, “I see. A shame.”

“Yes.”

Another pause followed, during which Alina continued her sketch and Sturmhond divided his attention between the sea ahead and her busy hands. While at first his presence had left her on edge, now it was almost relaxing. Almost. If only Alina could stop remembering the moment she had thought he’d steal a kiss from her. If only Alina could stop thinking about looking into his eyes again.

Sturmhond took a deep breath and she felt it in her bones, he was about to tease her some more. He leaned in a bit, his breath tickling her skin, “So, are my eyes beautiful enough to inspire a painting or should we wait for a better light?”

Do not look. Do not look. Do not look.

“Very sure of yourself, aren’t you, captain?” She said, pleased with the confident tone in her voice. At least she could sound unaffected, even though her heart hammered fast against her chest.

“Well, I’ve always been told I have lovely eyes.” He didn’t sound the least affected by her cold reply, “And I did just witness the way your pupils dilated in pure delight at the close observation of my eyes.” He reached for a lock of her hair and tugged it playfully, “I would say that today my ego had little play on how beautiful my eyes are.”

Do not look. Do not look. Do not look.

Alina shut her eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the butterflies that danced deep in her belly after Sturmhond played with her hair. Such a simple gesture, friendly even, yet it seemed to do more damage than a whisper in her ear. She said, “Captain, I was just surprised with you sitting here when I’m sure you have other things to do. More important things.”

“Perhaps I do, but I realised I’ve been a terrible host and thought I’d spend some time in your lovely company.”

“My company isn’t lovely. And surely not enough to distract the captain from his job.” She continued, wishing to all the saints that someone called for him. Her heart and her body needed a good distance from Sturmhond. He was… too much. So much. Saints.

“On the contrary, sunshine. I find your company… just perfect.”

Barely registering that word, she barrelled on, “Trust me, my company is far from perfect. Now, if you excuse me, Sturmhond, I have… things to do.” She got up in a flash, dusted off her clothes and got ready to leave. Until the captain stopped her, a hand on her forearm, fingertips only.

“Please, call me Nikolai.”

“Why?”

His smile was a mystery of its own, very much like the sea itself, “It’s my name. I much rather hear it from your lips than my titles.”

Alina blinked, his words not helping the newest blush at all. She sighed, “All right. Nikolai. But I still have to leave.”

Taking the hint, Sturmhond took back his hand and showed the way, “Please do. And when you’re done, do show me the final result of that sketch of yours, I look forward to see it.” He said, his words trailing after her even as she returned to her room and locked the door.

She placed a hand on her heart and felt the silly thing beating as frantically as she’d suspected it to be. Saints help her. All those silly daydreams over the kiss that did not happen had come rushing back to her the moment Sturmhond sat down, the moment he got closer to her than ever. And then, as if all the memories and all the teasing wasn’t enough… He’d offered her his name.

Nikolai.

Alina felt a sigh escape her crazed body, butterflies flying fast all through her. Nikolai… What a wonderful name. What a wonderfully insufferable man. What a wonderful mess. Which she could avoid stepping into, so long Alina stayed away from the captain. But they were on a ship… And she found herself wishing for more chances to stare into his eyes, when she should be making plans to avoid him.

Whatever all that turmoil could mean, though, was something about which Alina didn’t even want to begin wondering about. Some things were just better left untouched. This was one of those.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's a bit late, I've been and still am sick. hopefully this nikolina one-on-one made up for the time!
> 
> comments/fangirling keeps me going <3<3<3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sword fighting lessons ahead!

 

 

 

Alina’s first time aboard the Volkvolny during an attack was practically spent hidden in the lowest decks of the ship. Against her wishes, she’d stayed behind together with two other green sailors. Both Nikolai and Tamar had ordered her to stay safe, practically threatening to throw her overboard should she defy their orders.

They were right, though. She wouldn’t help much. Her sword skills were still practically null, as Alina refused to spend enough time with the captain to actually learn something worthwhile and Tamar was more of a pistol woman. Alina suspected that the first-mate was also forbidden from offering her the sword fighting classes, as an accidental eaves-dropping led her to believe. Of course, she only caught the last three words of an otherwise long sentence the captain had just finished saying, but she caught enough to guess as much.

So she sat on a barrel, as gloom as the skies overhead and as bitter as it was humanly possible to be. The two other sailors didn’t mind their current position as much, both having decided to take the chance to play at cards while waiting for things to calm down. Alina suspected these two were down here not because of their own selves, but because of her. Either to show she wasn’t the only one kept out of danger or to make sure she didn’t leave her spot, she didn’t know.

Only when the sounds of battle died out and cheers thundered from above was she allowed to leave her hiding spot. Just as she’d suspected, her two companions rose to their feet and motioned for her to follow, carefully. Based on the fact that she was still dry and alive, Alina guessed Sturmhond’s crew was the victorious one. And sure enough, the moment she stepped out into the open, familiar faces celebrated their latest haul, albeit much more bruised, bloodied and dirty than usual.

The captain approached her and Alina had to dig her nails into her palms just to strangle the instinct to ask if he was okay. One look at him and she knew he was more than okay, even with the long slash along his arm that dripped blood and had ruined a perfectly good coat. Teal, as always. Nikolai flashed a smile that looked painful, scratches and a bruise on the side of his jaw, “Alina.”

She ground her teeth hard before speaking, “Captain.” Saints, why was her first instinct one of worry?

His smile grew and she noticed some blood on his teeth. Instantly her hands itched to reach out and check if there were more bruises and scratches on him. And just as instantly, she cursed herself. The man had refused to let her help, if he was injured, it was on him. “I’m certain we’ve talked about this name thing, Alina.” She crossed her arms and looked away, refusing to let him win, “Come now, sunshine. You can do it.”

Whatever was his deal with ‘sunshine’? That day on the forecastle she hadn’t paid much attention to the word – aside from the tiny fluttery feeling that seemed to flicker to life deep in her stomach – but afterwards, as she laid on her bed trying her damnedest to fall asleep, she realised he’d said that before. A few times, actually. Back during their very first meeting. Alina dared a glance at the captain and his insufferable smile hadn’t lost not even a bit of shine. “Nikolai.” She ground out, feeling as though she’d just pulled out a teeth in cold blood.

He opened his arms – a little wince flashing over his face – and smiled even harder, “Aha! There it is. Ah, such sweet sound after a hard won battle. Now, now. Don’t glare at me that way,” he added when her eyes turned to slits, “you know exactly why you didn’t join us. If you weren’t so keen on avoiding my wonderful and brilliant company, you could have been out here, fighting with us.” And then, he winked.

The damned bastard actually winked. Alina wanted to strangle him. And make sure his wounds weren’t serious. But strangle him. Yes. Strangle.

“Alina…” He sang, “Say you won’t miss our classes and I’ll think about letting you stay up here next time.”

“That’s not a very good deal.” She bit out, flashing a fake smile at some crew members that passed by them, their voices as merry as if they’d been swimming in rum. Soon they would actually be doing just so.

Nikolai walked closer to her and leaned on the railing, “True, indeed. But you did come to me for help and protection. It would be awfully irresponsible of me to let you run straight into the pointy end of a sword, don’t you agree? Especially without any knowledge on how to defend yourself from said pointy end.”

She grumbled out a yes and leaned on the railing next to him. He was right. She had come to his ship look for help staying alive. Still… She had begun to feel as part of the crew and staying out of sight during a boarding… Well, that had left a rather bitter taste in her mouth.

Nikolai whistled for a moment, the sound so off-tune Alina almost clamped her hands over his mouth. Then, just as she was weighting the pros and cons of getting so close to him and his lips, the whistling stopped and Nikolai leaned in, “You haven’t replied yet, Alina.”

“Why can’t Tamar teach me? I’ve been getting better with the pistols. She seems pretty capable of teaching me.”

“Tamar isn’t as good with a sword as I am.” A lie, she would bet. If Tamar wasn’t as good as he was, then why would she be his first-mate? She had to be as good as Nikolai was, without a doubt. “And sometimes I do get so bored. Training you sounds like an excellent way to spend the time.”

“Oh, great. I get to distract you.”

His smile flashed bright and her stomach flipped twice, “Oh, you have no idea how much you do distract me.” He waved at Tolya, who looked like he’d fought half the crew of the ship that laid behind them, sinking in flames. Tolya nodded once and began going from sailor to sailor, making inventory of everything that had happened and how much each had salvaged from the attack. Nikolai turned his attention back to her, “You’re what I call…” a smile that made her hold her breath grew on his lips, “a perfect distraction.”

She ignored the flirtatious tone his words seemed to gain by the moment – and even more the way his smile made her feel – and scoffed, “Then a bigger reason to not spend time with me. As the captain, you should be alert at all times, shouldn’t you?”

“Ah! Touché.” He flicked some ashes off his coat, “You know, you keep avoiding giving me a straight answer. I’m beginning to get the feeling you do want to practice with me, you just don’t want to admit it to my face. It’s all right, sunshine, I do have that effect.” His tone was borderline lewd, if anyone asked Alina. So openly flirtatious, she wanted to roll her eyes and smack him. And maybe lead him on. No, of course not. Ridiculous! Why would she do that?

She heaved out a sigh, watching intently as the crew handled the aftermath of the battle with an incredible discipline. “Fine. I’ll stop skipping practice. Happy?” She let out, avoiding looking his way as best as she could.

Nikolai bowed, “No words can describe my happiness, sunshine. Have a good afternoon, I’ll go to my quarters and get stitched up. Ah, don’t worry, it’s nothing serious.” He added when she failed to hide her worried glance. And then, before Alina could throw him her best glare, Nikolai snaked through the crew and went into his quarters, the ship’s doctor already in tow.

 

* * *

 

“Watch your feet, Alina. Always keep a steady grip. Yes, good!” Nikolai coached her through her steps, the two mock-fencing at that moment.

As soon as Alina had stepped out of her quarters and eaten a good breakfast, Nikolai had arranged things on deck and gotten everything ready for their classes. It seemed he wasn’t about to take chances with her this time. Alina couldn’t blame him, she really had used excuses as basic as not having enough space. Now? Now they had all the ship to practice with.

The crew watched from the side-lines, whoever had nothing to do taking bets and watching them as if they were watching an actual fight. Those who had things to do, did them slowly, their attention always drifting back to the captain and his student. Nikolai struck her and Alina barely had time to block him with her own sword. He flashed a smirk and pushed harder.

Her arms were beginning to tremble. Nikolai wasn’t just taller than her, he was also stronger and had much more practice. Extensive and from real life situations kind of practice. Alina felt her own ground give in, bit by bit, as his sword drew closer and closer to her. She sucked in a breath and skidded a bit. Her heart hammered faster. She wasn’t about to lose nor forfeit. They had practiced all morning, she deserved a win!

Nikolai winked and she felt her anger build up, “Getting tired, Alina? Do you want me to go easy on you?” He pushed and her foot skidded a little again, “Do you want to take things slowly?”

His tone was beginning to turn flirtatious again. Oh, he was playing dirty! Alina put all her annoyance into one final push from her side and let out a loud grunt, pushing against him so hard and so suddenly she took the captain by surprise. Nikolai had only a moment to widen his eyes before he fell on his behind, sword skidding across the deck.

Alina blinked.

She’d done it. She’d won the match!

Cheers erupted all around the ship and she soon joined the crew. Her whole body buzzed to life from practice and her victory. She’d won! She had really won!

Nikolai clapped, flat on his back, and flashed his proudest smile, “I knew you could do it, Alina. I knew it.” He lifted a hand, a silent plea for help getting up. Alina felt bad in an instant, remembering how he’d gotten injured just the day before, and rushed to his side. She caught his hand and she knew then, she’d made a mistake. “But you should never forget one thing,” Nikolai added, his tone low and dangerous, “no one ever plays fair.”

And then, he pulled her down.

Alina screamed and lost her balance, falling flat on top of him. Nikolai wasted no time and rolled over, pinning her under his grip. He leaned in with a smile for her efforts to escape, “Not bad for a first complete lesson. You officially won the match, but you still let your guard down too quickly and gotten yourself in another complicated position.” Alina struggled and tried to kick him in the groin. Nikolai laughed, “Good idea, but it won’t always work. You have to avoid getting into this position in the first place. But,” He moved away and helped her up, “I’ll make sure to ask Tamar to give you some hints on how to escape anyway. She’s small and angry like you, sunshine. She’ll know what to teach you.” Nikolai walked to his sword and picked it up, “I look forward to tomorrow’s lesson.” He bowed.

Tamar hoped off her sitting spot and clapped, “Show’s over! Get back to work, you lazy dogs!” As she ordered the crew around, Nikolai put his sword back into his scabbard and went back into his quarters, announcing he had some notes to work on. Alina watched as he walked away without another teasing remark thrown her way, his step calm and relaxed, as though this was just a walk on deck. She almost thought he’d forgotten all about her until the very last moment, when he looked over his shoulder and winked at her.

Startled and embarrassed over being caught watching him, Alina looked away, suddenly highly engrossed with her own sword, a plain cutlass that she’d been offered to use during practice. When she looked up again, Nikolai was gone, door closed behind him. She almost wished she hadn’t broken eye contact. Almost.

Tamar approached, “You did well, Alina. Keep it up and by our next job you will be more than ready to fight by our side.”

She had many things to ask at once, but only one question could be made at a time, “Will we stop by a port before that?”

Tamar’s eyes flickered to the sea, her hand brushing over the pink ribbon again, “Hard to say, depends on whether we find another ship on our way or not.”

“And huh, I thought I wasn’t allowed…” She added, giving Tamar some space.

“Technically, you shouldn’t. But you need to participate, for obvious reasons.” Those reasons being her disguise as an actual crew member and staying alive. She had to stay alive, but she also had to play her part if she wanted her identity to remain a secret. Though, if she were being honest, at times it didn’t feel like a part, not really.

“Do you miss her?” Alina asked, her voice soft, turning away from that strange thought.

Tamar smiled, yet the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, “Very much. This has been the longest we’ve been apart so far. Nadia could come with us, if she didn’t get seasick so easily.” She said, chuckling a bit at the end.

Alina smiled, “Seasick?”

“Oh, you have no idea. We tried, twice. But Nadia simply… couldn’t get along with the sea. She loves it, but not to travel through it. Well, her stomach, of course.”

“How did you two meet?” They walked over to the railing and leaned on it. Alina watched the way the sun made the water shine like diamonds.

“Through Marie. They’re not actually sisters, foster sisters in reality. But sisters still. Marie wanted to enlist and Nadia didn’t want to stay behind.” Tamar took out a dagger and flicked it in the air, catching it in one perfect movement, “So she enlisted as well. But she didn’t get along with the sea so easily. We… I kept her company. We became friends.” She smiled and Alina could imagine what happened afterwards. A tender smile here and there, a joke meant just for each other, a secret glance, an accidental touch. Tamar showing off, of course. And Nadia would probably smile and appreciate all the effort, a secret happiness blooming inside her over the mutual feelings. “She settled in the port we stay the longest in. Where we all have places to stay. I made sure the first time we parted ways that she knew how I felt.”

“And?” Alina asked, already knowing the answer.

A bashful smile grew on Tamar’s lips, the first of its kind, that Alina had ever seen, “She felt the same way. So we got together. And that’s it.”

She pointed at the ribbon, “A memento?”

Tamar threw her head back and laughed, “A good-luck charm, actually. Nadia turned out to be much more superstitious with the sea than Marie.”

“Doesn’t hurt to play safe.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I’m sure you’ll get home soon.”

Tamar’s smile wilted a little and her eyes grew serious, “What will you do?”

She knew what the first-mate meant. She shook her head and shrugged, “I don’t know. I honestly… don’t know.”

A hand settled on her shoulder, “Whatever you decide, we’ll help.” Tamar gave her shoulder a gentle press and left, back to making sure the ship was working to perfection.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost gave Alina a rapier, but cutlasses were preferred for being easier to train with and the whole being in a tight space aka ship deal. I figure Nikolai would prefer to initiate her lessons with cutlasses, not only for being easier to learn but also for the fact that should she need to fight, she'd be ready.
> 
> comments/fangirling is the best!! also, it was my birthday yesterday so that makes them even better :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sword fights, girl talk and some midnight tea

 

 

 

A sword nearly cut through her, Alina having jumped out of its path just in the nick of time. She caught her balance and slashed the air with her own sword, cutting some hair off of her opponent’s head. The burly man cursed loud and unabashed, calling her some really disgusting things before he struck her again, this time catching her arm.

Alina hissed, adrenaline dulling the pain as it coursed fast through her veins. Her eyes turned to slits and she pushed through, putting as much fire and anger into her slashes and thrusts that the pirate opposite her vacillated in his next moves. He hadn’t expect this. She was tiny and a little frail looking. It was impossible for such a mousy girl to fight back and that must have been why he’d targeted her. For the easy fight. Too bad for the bastard, she wasn’t what she looked like. Alina took the chance, dropped on her feet and swept a leg under his in one fast move. The pirate fell on his back and his sword flew away, dropping off the ship’s railing in one blink.

Breathing fast and lightheaded from the fight, Alina pressed the tip of her sword to his throat and relieved the man off his other weapons, “Surrender.” She said, once she was sure he was unarmed. Nikolai’s words echoed back to her. This time she wouldn’t let her guard down until she was certain she’d won this fight.

The pirate cursed again and spit on her, or tried to, until she pressed further and a drop of blood trickled down his neck. He sucked in a breath. His eyes widened with fear. Finally, he was taking her seriously. “I surrender.”

She smiled a beatific smile, “Wonderful!”

Around them, the fight on the Volkvolny had begun to die out as the crew that stayed behind kept their ground with impressive skills. Over the railing, Alina saw Nikolai fight his way through the deck of the other ship, a brig they’d caught up with thanks to the early morning fog. She watched in awe as the captain slashed through the enemy and made a perfect use of his guns, shooting them at the exact moment he needed to. His teal coat flapped behind him and flared around like a tail, making it look more like a dance than a fight. While before Alina had thought the outlandish coat would only hinder him in a fight, it seemed to actually help. Whether it was a case of blinding the enemy with its gaudy colour or because it had some magical powers – pirate superstition of course – she didn’t know. What she did know, was that it was almost like watching a play, to watch him fight.

Marie approached her in a run, bringing with her cuffs for the fallen pirate. “You all right?”  She said, doing quick job on the pirate. The man cursed at her only to quiet down when she pressed a heel over his crotch. A whimper followed through before he fell silent again.

Alina nodded and rubbed her neck, she was sore. As though she had fought for hours. When in fact, it had probably been half an hour of fighting, at most.

“Great, I’ll take this one with me. Our ship is defended and theirs is almost surrendering. Or falling.” She shrugged and hauled the man up, ordering him to walk briskly or he’d lose his nuts for good.

Alina realised then that the fight aboard Volkvolny had indeed ended, any enemy that had attacked them now dead or tied up. She blinked in surprise. She must have watched Nikolai for longer than she thought. Or the fight had really not been that much of a fight.

It didn’t matter, for the next moment cheers erupted all across their ship and the enemy ship. They’d won! And there he stood, Nikolai. On the deck of the brig, the enemy captain fallen at his feet.

 

* * *

 

Smoke filled the air. Fire ate away at the enemy ship as they sailed away, new riches and supplies filling the Volkvolny’s belly. Alina observed the two longboats that now carried the remainders of their opponents, only three of them having accepted to serve under Sturmhond’s orders until the next port.

“A penny for your thoughts?” The captain joined her side and offered an apple.

She eyed the red fruit, its skin shinning under the sun now that the fog had dissipated, and accepted it. “Thank you.” She mumbled before taking a bite out of it. Its sweet juice dripped into her mouth and she sighed happily. It had been a while since she’d tasted an apple this good. So long, she had almost forgotten their taste altogether. “This from them?”

Nikolai nodded, “Aye, their ship had plenty of fresh supplies. Alina?” He insisted on his question and she sighed again.

“I was wondering why they declined your offer.”

Silence stretched on for long before he answered, his eyes still on the longboats, “I suppose its pride. And they probably know of a secure location close by. It’s not loyalty to their captain, of course. He’s dead.”

“Is it hard?”

“What?”

“Killing.”

Nikolai kicked the ground and finally looked away from the longboats, “Sometimes. Other times you barely register what is happening. You only know you want to stay alive.”

“Does it get easy?” Her apple hanged in her hand forgotten, as Alina went through her first fight and how easily she could have made her first kill as well. Her body went cold at the thought.

“Not really, I’m afraid. But you do learn to accept that if you don’t defend yourself, your enemy won’t stop their blade or bullets.”

“That doesn’t make it easier.”

“No, it does not. But it helps at night.” Nikolai gasped then and reached for her arm, catching it between his hands, “Alina! You’re injured. Has the doctor seen this?” He shook his head and quickly went for his handkerchief, “Of course he hasn’t, or else you wouldn’t be bleeding down your arm.” Nikolai reproached her, as if she was a child that had broken a very expensive vase.

Alina followed his gaze and finally looked at what she’d thought to be just a graze. The cut was five centimetres long and bleeding fresh blood down her white shirt. It wasn’t very deep nor was it bleeding profusely, but it was serious enough to need a doctor. And it was growing painful. “Ouch!” She hissed and tried to escape Nikolai’s hold, only for him to hold on harder.

“Oh no, you don’t. We have to stanch this before you lose too much blood. What were you thinking Alina? I specifically told everyone to go see the doctor. Why didn’t you go?” He said, his tone growing more reproachful with every word and every knot he gave to his handkerchief.

Alina hissed again and watched as the white fabric turned red under her gaze, “I forgot about it.”

Nikolai shook his head, “Must have been the adrenaline. But please, next time try to do what I say the moment I say. Will save me another handkerchief and you a perfectly good apple.” He nodded at the red fruit, fallen by Alina’s feet.

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed. There,” He finished the bandage and crouched down to catch the apple and clean it in a clean piece of shirt, “Stanched and saved,” He offered the apple again, “But you must go to the doctor right now, Alina. And eat your apple.”  Nikolai ordered before turning her around and guiding her down the stairs until Tamar had her, “Take her to the doctor, she has a nasty cut on her arm. Make sure she also eats that apple.”

 

* * *

 

At the end of the day, everyone was getting their share of the loot, including Alina.

“Don’t spend it all in one place,” Marie joked as she sat down next to Alina and offered a glass of wine. Marie favoured wine over rum and there seemed to always exist a bottle of the red drink somewhere at hand. Alina shook her head and pointed at her glass full of water.

“I’ve never liked wine anyway, but thanks.”

Marie shrugged, “Suit yourself.” She took a swig before speaking again, “So, I heard the captain was ready to ground you for not visiting the doctor right away. Your first battle and you already had him reproaching you? You must be quite the rebel.”

Tamar joined them and gave Alina a portion of bread, “Or have quite the effect on our captain.” She added, no doubt having heard the conversation before joining them.

Alina sighed and took a bite off the bread, savouring its warmth and fluffy texture. Boris must have baked it during the afternoon. How? Alina was ready to bet all her winnings on his kitchen being better stocked and having more secrets than she had thought before.

Marie settled her glass and smiled at Alina’s silence, “She goes quiet!” She teased

“She has been all afternoon.” Tamar said with a conspiratory smirk and began eating her meal.

Alina focused on her food. Chicken, carrots and potatoes. She hadn’t had chicken since two weeks, so it must have come from the other ship. The food was well seasoned and it warmed her body, all her joints aching for a long rest after this meal. It was delicious, but she could feel her eyes growing heavy.

“Must be the captain’s effect.” It seemed that Marie wasn’t about to let this one go.

Finally, Alina heaved out a sigh and turned to her friend, “What are you trying to say, Marie?”

Marie chuckled, “Oops, made her angry. Oh, don’t look at me like that, Alina. I was just pointing out how you two seem to be drawn to each other like magnets or something.” Tamar hummed in agreement. “Oh, and how extra worried you two get over each other. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you stared at the captain after you caught your pirate. One more wistful sigh and you would have given the bastard a new shave.” She dodged Alina’s smack, some wine spilling off, “Oi! I was just teasing! Don’t waste good wine, Alina.”

“Sorry.” She mumbled, feeling her cheeks burning bright with newfound embarrassment.

Marie got up and flashed a smirk, “And don’t waste opportunities either. If I were you, I’d catch that fish soon.” She ducked away and fled the table before Alina could even finish her kick.

“She’s right, though.” Tamar said after a while, Alina’s plate now empty.

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down her racing heart, “What are you talking about?”

“The way you two act around each other. It’s becoming… obvious.” She said, barely hiding the grin that her words seemed to bring forth.

Alina shook her head and pretended her face wasn’t a bright red beacon that called everyone’s attention to how this whole conversation was making her feel… things. “You’re both ridiculous. We don’t act differently around each other. He just…” she groaned, “The captain just makes me really mad sometimes. And sometimes I can’t not bite back.”

“Which he enjoys thoroughly.”

“His problem, not mine.”

Tamar’s smile was starting to get on Alina’s nerves. “Of course, Alina.” She said after a while, “Done?” She pointed at the empty plate. Alina nodded, “Then I’ll take these. Go to bed, you look ready to pass out.”

“Are you sure? I can help.”

The first-mate chuckled, “Washing the dishes? Yeah, I don’t think so. Go, bed. Or the captain will poof next to you and reproach us both.”

At the joke about his reproach on deck, Alina blushed even brighter and quickly left the common area. Her ears were burning up by the time she made it to her quarters, rumours of Nikolai’s worrying over her having travelled through the ship at least twice by now, most certainly.

 

* * *

 

Alina tossed and turned in her cot, the adrenaline of her first fight still pumping fast through her, still electrifying every nerve in her body. She glanced at the other cot, empty and unmade, and wondered what Tamar could be up to. Perhaps some gambling, or monitoring of such? Or maybe just some innocent star-gazing, her thoughts far away from the ship.

Her eyes fell on the handkerchief. The once pristine white fabric now laid ruined by dried blood on her bedside table, the crusty brown earning an ironic warm glow thanks to the candlelight. She should have thrown it away of course, yet she hadn’t been able to. Another toss and her gaze fell on the wooden wall, her thoughts going to Nikolai the very next moment. Was he on the other side of the wall? Or did he sleep in another part of the captain’s quarters? Was he deep asleep, completely unaware of her tossing and turning? Or did he stay up late, his mind just as busy and distracted as hers? Alina cursed under her breath and tossed in her bed again, her gaze back on the handkerchief.

She should get rid of it. The damned fabric was bothering her sleeping hours.

With her night robe on and the handkerchief in hand, Alina left her room and walked down the corridor, her confidence wavering with each step. By the time she was knocking on the door, her heart was running wild, begging her to leave and pretend this had never happened. She was a princess, she couldn’t go visiting other men’s chambers so late at night! It was the most scandalous thing she could be doing! And she was in a pirate ship!

What was she doing? This was madness. Best to go back to her room and toss the white thing overboard in the morning. Avoid anything else. Pretend nothing had happened at all.

The door opened then, all plans of fleeing turning to dust in her mind. Nikolai stood there, white shirt untucked, hair ruffled and eyes just a little sleepy. She cursed herself again. The captain was probably asleep when she’d decided to interrupt him to return a damned handkerchief that was of no use anymore!

“Alina? Is everything all right?” He inquired, a sleepy undertone to his voice.

She gaped, lost for words for one long moment. The sight of him like this was… Unexpected. And it had unexpected effects on her. She pushed the handkerchief into his hands, “My apologies for waking you up but… I thought you might want this back. Thank you.” Well, wasn’t that just an amazing speech? Alina wanted the sea to swallow her whole.

Nikolai blinked at the fabric and took it, a corner of his mouth tilting up in remembrance. Or maybe in amusement over the situation. Alina wasn’t sure which one. Perhaps the latter. The captain looked back at her, “While it is a bit late, I wasn’t asleep yet. What about you?” He asked, eyeing her night robe and the gown that peeked under the heavy fabric.

Self-conscious over standing in front of this man in nothing but her night clothing, Alina held the robe closer to her and fought a new blush that threatened to take over, “Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded and played with the handkerchief for a moment, “Yes, that happens sometimes. Especially after a big fight. I heard you didn’t need any help today, your lessons are having a better effect than I thought.” He stuffed the handkerchief in his pocket and added with a wink, “Not that I had any doubts that you could do it.”

“Thank you, I think.” She mumbled, dying to get out of here. Standing this close to him with both so underdressed, it did her no good. No good at all.

Nikolai chuckled and stepped back into his quarters, “Come inside, I have tea. Might help with the sleeping issue.” He didn’t look back and headed to the tea table. He clearly expected her to follow.

Alina peered inside, wavering between accepting his invitation or declining and running back to the safety of her cot. Then, the sweet scent of tea drifted towards her and she found herself walking in, closing the door behind her and sitting on that teal sofa Nikolai had sat on that first day, so many weeks ago.

Just on cue, Nikolai sat on the opposite armchair and placed an extra cup in front of her, “Shall I? Or do you prefer to pour it yourself?”

She shook her head, “I’m the guest, I’m not sure I have that right.”

Nikolai chuckled and poured tea for both. He offered sugar and leaned back on his chair, his eyes shining as he watched her with earnest interest. “We’ll be stopping by a port in a couple of weeks, might be a good chance for you to look for extra paints and whatnot.”

“Oh. Yes, yes indeed. But will I find that in there?” She frowned, remembering how plenty of ports were just trading spots. Could art supplies be found there? They weren’t exactly a top priority in many places.

“It’s a pretty decent place, I’m sure we can find something there. If not, they have at least a very fine bookshop, you can buy some books there.” When Alina stared at him he added, “Tamar mentioned you brought books with you and I did see you once or twice reading out on deck. Not to worry, I haven’t been peeking through your things, sunshine. I would never do such thing.”

“Oh.” She blinked and cursed herself for her lack of speech ability. Why was she so surprised he knew she enjoyed reading? It was no secret. Nikolai cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea, his eyes shining with mirth and Alina realised she’d been staring straight into them. A blush coloured her cheeks once more and she looked away, dying for a distraction from those hypnotising eyes. An old map caught her attention, “Is that… Is that a map of the Lost Sea?”

Nikolai followed her gaze, “You mean the Unsea?”

She shrugged, “Unsea, Lost Sea… Many names, always the same place.” She got up and walked up to it, the old paper framed and hanging on a wall, next to several other maps and paintings.

The captain followed her, “You know of it?”

“Solis had a legend on the Lost Sea.”

“Solis?” Nikolai turned a watchful eye on her and Alina paled at her slip up.

“Growing up I loved reading about fairy tales and legends from everywhere.” True enough to make the lie believable.

Nikolai nodded, “I see.”

“Why do you have this map?”

“Legend says at the centre of the Unsea is the loot of a lifetime.” He smiled, “I can’t resist a good loot or adventure. My problem is that there are no known maps that include its location. All knowledge of this place vanished along with it.”

Alina watched it for a longer moment, feeling as though she was missing something, something that she knew should be there and wasn’t. It wasn’t the familiarity of the map, which she’d seen time and time again as a child, it was something else. Something that she was certain would put Sturmhond and his crew on the right track.

A clock startled her when it announced the hour. Nikolai put a hand on her elbow and chuckled, “Just my clock. Telling us it’s late.”

“Right, of course.” She looked at that hand, gently holding her close, and cleared her throat, “I should go.”

Nikolai didn’t let go, but the light in his eyes dimmed a little, “Of course.” And then he did something completely unexpected to her, something that threw her completely off course. If earlier sleeping had been a hard task, now it would be impossible. Because… Because Nikolai did let go of her elbow, only to catch her hand and bring it to his lips. A brief brush, a hint of a kiss. And her heart was drumming faster and faster. Nikolai held her gaze for a moment before he walked her to the door, his fingers never letting go of hers. “Goodnight, Alina. I hope sleep finds you fast tonight.” His voice was tender, yet she could almost hear a pained tone to it. As if… As if he didn’t really want her to leave.

Alina nodded and did her best to ignore the lightheaded feeling she had, “You too. Goodnight, Nikolai.” She breathed, having lost all control over her voice at that moment. Then, before she could linger there any longer, Alina turned around and returned to her bed.

Sleep would come to her eventually, and her dreams would be full of Nikolai, but before that would happen Alina would stare at the wall for hours, willing her heart to slow down, willing her body to cool down, willing her whole being from wanting Nikolai to kiss her again.

And not on the back of her hand.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, some plots thicken! which ones are you most excited for? *eyes emoji*
> 
> comments/fangirling is the best thing everrrrr <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alina buys some supplies and Nikolai makes an interesting invitation

 

 

 

“See, Alina? And you doubted my word.” Nikolai said, a huge grin illuminating face.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

They stood at the entrance of the busiest street of Tsibeya, its pebbled road surrounded by booths and small shops of all kinds. As soon as they landed on solid ground, Nikolai had ordered his first-mate to take care of everything while he took Alina on her search for supplies. Alina had rolled her eyes so hard she almost saw her brain when the captain commented how important this journey of theirs was. As if it could ever be called a journey.

“So, while this isn’t as big and impressive as Novokribirsk – where I promise you will find everything you need – I’m certain we can find enough to go by with until we reach the Promised Land.” He announced as the two walked among the early risers, the town having just started to wake up.

She scoffed, “Do you always exaggerate your speech like that or are you just trying to see how many times I can roll my eyes in a minute?”

He flashed a playful grin, “Ah, Alina… Answering that would ruin the purpose of it all.”

“Do you ever give a straight answer?”

“Hard to say. Hah! There, I’ve done it again.” He winked and nudged her into the first shop, a small bookstore. “Books and other supplies, let us see if they have what you need.”

“Good morning! How can I help you?” The shopkeeper greeted them, standing proud behind the counter.

“Do you sell art supplies?” She inquired, her eyes already traveling through his shelves, picking the few titles she recognized from her old collection. It seemed Nikolai hadn’t lied, they did have a fine collection.

The shopkeeper smiled, “We do, though not many at this time. Storms have made it difficult for my suppliers to bring more than the bare minimum. What were you looking for?”

“Paints, mostly.”

“Ah… Let’s see… Here,” He took her to a smaller counter, where several paints were on display, “This is what we have.”

She pursed her lips and carefully studied the selection, feeling her hope dwindle to a tiny fizzle as she saw there were barely any colours she didn’t already have. She remembered there were a couple of paints she needed to restock fast and picked up two tubes of each before handing them to the shopkeeper, “These, please. And I’ll add a few books to the order.”

“Certainly, please.” He said, inviting her to his shelves. Alina almost cried when she got closer, memories of her forgotten books and the adventures she’d lived through them rushing back as she picked through the shelves, looking for the few titles she had once owned and even choosing a couple of books she found interesting.

 

* * *

 

“My most sincere apologies for the not so victorious purchase, Alina.” Nikolai said, coming to stand next to her.

Alina watched as the small port grew smaller and smaller, remaining silent for a moment longer before answering, “I suppose there’s always next time. At least I found a few books I… huh, needed.” She said, almost forgetting Nikolai didn’t know her secret. It happened at times, to feel so at ease around the captain that she forgot there were things he didn’t know about her, things she didn’t want him to know about her.

He nodded, “Very true. Novokribirsk is my best bet. Three times larger than Tsibeya and with a town square and all. Plenty of shops of all kinds. I’m certain you’ll find more paints there.” He sounded confident enough.

“I hope so. And clothes, I need to replace a few items…” She cringed, remembering how her sewing skills were the bare minimum and instead of fixing a shirt earlier that week, she had just ruined it.

A smirk curved his lips, “I have a few spare shirts, Alina dear. If you’re that desperate, I can lend you some.”

She rolled her eyes, “Such a gentleman.”

He bowed, “Always.” He paused, “Ah, speaking of being a gentleman and hopes and dreams…” Alina rose a questioning eyebrow at him, and the captain laced his hands behind his body. He cleared his throat, “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

Alina blinked, surprised at the question, “I… Oh. That’s…” Words seemed to fail her then, as she found herself unsure of what she wanted or not.

Nikolai nodded, hiding his disappointment as he cast his eyes downwards, long and dark golden eyelashes offering a little cover, “I understand. Perhaps tomorrow you’ll change your mind. Until then, please don’t hide away.” He said before turning away and leaving her standing there, a little confused over this turn of events. What had just happened?

 

* * *

 

“Novokribirsk is just a couple of days away.” Tamar said, her knives glinting under the sunlight as she sharpened them for the tenth time that day. After Novokribirsk the plan was to go back home. Tamar was obviously looking forward to that.

Alina nodded before ripping off a page of her sketchbook and throwing it into the sea, nothing but scribbles on it. Lately she couldn’t draw anything. Her mind was somewhere else these days, her heart always yearning for something else. Or someone else… She looked to her friend, “Big plans?”

The sunlight glinted off Tamar’s sharp smile, “Oh yes. Nadia deserves the best souvenir I can find.”

She smiled too before her gaze travelled to the ship’s Captain, who happened to be training with Tolya on some unarmed fighting. His bare torso, tanned from the life at sea, glowed golden under the sun, which made him look all too attractive for her taste. Not even the sweat that dripped down his face and his toned back seemed to keep Alina’s gaze away for long. A cough caught her attention and she looked back at Tamar, whose smile was now that of a confident who was in on all the secrets, “Have you two sorted things yet or…?”

She began doodling again, “Things?”

“Yes, things. Ever since Tsibeya you two have been… How should I put it? Acting like magnets.”

“Magnets?” She deadpanned.

Tamar nodded, “Yes. Magnets. Constantly drifting towards each other but then something happens and you turn the wrong way and then it’s like this ship isn’t big enough for you two to avoid each other.”

A chuckle left Alina’s lips, the sound a bit too fake for her taste, “We’re not drifting towards each other nor avoiding each other, Tamar.” She shot her a look, “We’re definitely not magnets.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then why are you two always staring at each other, looking for accidental touches and then the next moment it’s as though you just touched fire?” Alina gaped at her and Tamar just shook her head in a reproaching manner, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you two practice sword fighting. Actually, the whole crew has noticed something is going on between you two.”

Alina blinked, suddenly too hot and self-conscious to be standing out in the open, “What?”

“There’s even bets running on the down low. Marie claims you two should just…” Tamar bit back a smile and coughed, “Get it down with, if you know what I mean.” Her tone was suggestive but…

“What _do_ you mean?” Alina insisted, not sure she wanted to know what the suggestive tone really meant.

Tamar looked at the open waters and Alina swore she was a little embarrassed, “Marie thinks you two should have sex, Alina. Too much sexual tension buzzing between you two and all that.”

Alina blanched and grew bright red in the matter of a heartbeat, “She didn’t…!”

Tamar shrugged, “Well, you know Marie. She likes to go straight to the point. Personally, I think you should say yes next time he invites you for dinner. It would ease things quite a lot.”

“How do you know that?” Nikolai hadn’t asked her again since the first time and no one had been around them that day, so how did Tamar know about that?

She shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. What matters is this, you want to say yes but you say no when you should be saying yes. So, when he asks again, say what you want to say, Alina.”

An argument was already dying to be let out. She wanted to argue and she wanted to say her friend was seeing things where there weren’t any to begin with, but then her gaze drifted off to Nikolai again. She could feel Tamar’s gaze on her, stripping to nothing the arguments she had yet to let out. A heavy sigh escaped her, “Who’s to say he will ask again? He never did.”

“Maybe he just wants to be sure you won’t turn him down.” Tamar wagered before walking away, her daggers so sharp they could cut a hole through time itself.

Alina looked at Nikolai again and her eyes found his for the first time that day. Breathing heavily, Nikolai pressed a towel to his face slowly, watching Alina all along. She looked away for half a second, her eyes drifting down to his chest for just a moment before looking back to his face, where she found that infuriating smirk of his growing on his lips. She rolled her eyes and Nikolai winked, clearly pleased with the way she had been unable to not ogle him. “Like what you see, sunshine?” He said, walking down the stairs towards her.

Alina looked away and closed her sketchbook, making sure to not look at his toned chest for too long, “Wouldn’t you like that?”

“More than anything.” He poked the sketchbook and nodded at the open waters, “Not inspired?”

“You could say that.” More like unable to think about anything but the captain of the Volkvolny.

Nikolai pulled his shirt back on and Alina almost whimpered at the loss. He sighed, quite dramatically, and leaned on the railing, “Have you thought about my proposal?”

She feigned ignorance, “What do you mean?”

His chuckle was playful, teasing, “Dinner. Us.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

“What’s on the menu?”

Nikolai nibbled on his lip, deep in thought. Alina watched the gesture with attention, suddenly wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips. Her eyes snapped up when he spoke again, “Whatever you wish for, sunshine. Boris will make just about anything.”

“Will it be a private affair?” She asked, fighting a blush over that thought and being caught ogling him, again. Marie’s supposed words suddenly came back at the worst of times.

“It will be just the two of us, but location will be a surprise.”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise, Alina.” He winked, “If you accept, of course.”

Her gaze fell on the glittering sea and she watched him out the corner of her eye. “I suppose dinner would be nice. I’m just afraid I didn’t pack fancy.”

She swore Nikolai shined with glee, “You can wear whatever you wish for, Alina. It’s your presence that I long for, not your attire.” He stood up and it looked as though he stood straighter as well, “Tonight is all right with you?”

She nodded.

“Seven?”

“Sounds perfect.” She said, barely containing the smile that wanted to grow on her lips. Now that she’d said yes, she found it difficult to wait patiently.

“I’ll pick you up from your room. Until then,” He took her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles, “Can’t wait, Alina.”

 

* * *

 

Her leg bobbed up and down, fast and jittery with nerves.

This was all so new. Never before had she been on a private dinner. Not even with Mal. And now, here she was, sitting on her bed and waiting for Nikolai to come and take her to a supposedly private dinner. Just the two of them. And Alina wore…

“Relax, Alina.” Tamar said from her bed as she took off her knives and laid on her bed, “You look fine.”

She looked down at her outfit. A pair of black pants, her cleanest. A pale yellow shirt that she’d somehow forgotten she’d brought and a vest, lent to her by Marie. “I look like I do every day, just a little cleaner.”

Tamar chuckled, “It’s just dinner. A dinner you seemed hell-bent on avoiding, might I remind you.”

She sighed, “I wasn’t hell-bent on avoiding it…”

“Sure you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t—” She began arguing when a knock stopped her. She froze, her heart beating faster and faster in her chest. This was it, dinner. With Nikolai.

“Go on. And have fun.” Tamar said just as Alina practically raced to the door.

And there he stood, wearing his finest teal coat, Nikolai. His smile was blinding, so perfect and honest. For the first time since meeting him, Alina felt completely helpless. Saints, his smile was beautiful. He offered his arm, “Ready?” Alina nodded faintly before accepting and following him.

His private quarters were spacious and private enough for dinner, yet Nikolai turned away from it and took her outside, to the deck. An argument on how little privacy the deck offered grew and died on her lips as she realised not a soul was outside. The ship didn’t move as the sea lazily shifted around it. She glanced at the elm but not even a sailor was there. “Are we anchored?” Highly possible, since she’d spent the rest of the day in such a frenzy, she would have missed anything on that regard.

Nikolai’s lips turned up in a smug smirk and Alina wondered just what had him smiling like that. But then his smile shifted and he nodded, “Yes, we anchored about an hour ago.” Right, exactly when Marie and Tamar had been fussing around her, trying to figure out what she could wear for such an important dinner. It wasn’t so important, she’d tried to say, just dinner. But her two friends seemed to disagree with her. At the time she found Tamar’s excitement a little overboard, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if it was mostly to keep the dinner a surprise. With all the fussing and conversation and nerves, Alina would have missed any sounds that could tell her about the ship having stopped.

“So, where are we going?” She inquired, searching the ship for any signs of their destination.

Nikolai chuckled, “Patience, Alina.” Then he took her to the forecastle and up its stairs and finally she saw it, a small table, set for two. No candles were lit yet, and she guessed that was just another way of keeping their dinner a surprise until the very end.

She rolled her eyes at the lengths the captain had gone to, “You really didn’t have to.”

“Oh, but I did. The look in your eyes was worth it all,” He said and pulled a chair for her. Then he proceeded to light the candles with more flare and pomp than it was necessary. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the dramatics of his movements and when she saw the way his eyes glinted with pleasure, Alina guessed Nikolai did all of it just to make her laugh. The thought sent her stomach into a turmoil, hundred million butterflies bursting to life in a flash. She realised she liked the thought of Nikolai working hard to make her smile. Or rather, just him being able to make her smile, effortlessly. It was a surprising thought, one that she hadn’t expected to have at all. And yet… Here she was.

Seemingly unaware of everything happening inside her, Nikolai pulled his own chair and sat, “Now, shall we order?”

She rolled her eyes, “Sure, why not?”

The captain put two fingers to his lips – Alina briefly unable to keep her eyes from staring at them, pink and lush – and whistled once. “Then let’s eat.” He smiled.

 

* * *

 

Alina bit down on the stack of mini blini Boris had brought them just a moment ago, her mouth having instantly watered at the sight of such a perfect and beautiful dessert. Whipped cream and cinnamon topped the little stack and she almost felt sorry for destroying it. Then her self-control wavered and she was savouring the delicacy. A moan of deep and complete satisfaction formed on her lips, the sweet taste of the blini and whipped cream filling her mouth so perfectly. “How did he make whipped cream?” She asked afterwards, hoping she’d cleaned up all of her dessert remains. She’d had eaten quite… Oh well, the opposite of what a princess should eat like.

Nikolai leaned in, an insufferable smile on his lips, and brushed his thumb over the corner of her mouth. Her skin tingled from the brief touch and her heart threatened to burst apart with how fast it was beating. He licked the bit of whipped cream and Alina had to pull up all of her inner strength to not moan at the sight. It was incredibly arousing. Far too arousing. “Boris has always some tricks up his sleeve. But in this case, I’m certain he bought some supplies back in Tsibeya.”

Her eyes turned to slits, “By your orders?”

“Certainly.” He noticed her glare and chuckled, “Saints, Alina. Are you really mad that I had hopes of having a fine meal in your company?”

Her anger wilted a little and she looked away, the sight a little too much to stare at for too long, “Not really.”

Nikolai’s smile came back in full force, “That’s a relief. Now, how about some stargazing?” He inquired, already up and with a hand extended for her. With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, Alina took the hand and followed him around the ship, all the way to the castle, where a large blanket was already spread out for the two of them. Several candles illuminated the scene and Alina wondered how they’d been lit, when she was sure she would have heard if other people were out and about. A memory of a still fully dressed Tamar flashed back to her. She smiled at the blanket. Of course…

Nikolai laid down and patted the spot next to him, “Alina, sunshine. Lie down, you can’t gaze at the stars when you’re gazing at the blanket. Come now, it’s a beautiful night, you don’t want to miss a thing.”

She rolled her eyes again and lied down.

He was right, it was a beautiful night. All the stars alight, as if they were on fire, burning bright to illuminate the dark and endless night sky. She looked up in awe, never before having really stopped to watch the stars, “It’s so… So beautiful… Back in—” She caught herself before saying more than she should, “Hum, back home… I’d never really… Seen them.”

Nikolai crossed his arms behind his head, “Really?”

“Yes, I never… I suppose I never really looked up.”

“To go your whole life without enjoying such a free and perfect sight of nature… I bet you’re glad you chose my ship, sunshine.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re just fishing for compliments.”

He chuckled, “Perhaps.”

 

* * *

 

By the door to her quarters, Alina felt as though the night had passed by too fast. She wasn’t ready for sleep yet. Not yet.

Nikolai tugged her hand up and pressed a kiss over her knuckles, “I had a wonderful time, Alina dear. I am forever grateful you said yes to my invitation.” His eyes, deep green in the dim light of the corridor, seemed to shine with happiness.

She couldn’t help but smile at him, stupidly giddy as she was from the magical evening, “I had a wonderful time too, Nikolai. Thank you for everything.”

He nodded, “Of course. Well, I’m afraid this is where we part…” He said, his hand still holding hers. Maybe he was as reluctant to let the night end as she was.

“I suppose you’re right…” She breathed, suddenly afraid of the moment he would let go of her.

Nikolai rubbed his neck, the nervous gesture so adorable and unexpected that Alina almost missed his next words, lost as she was watching him move, “Would a goodnight kiss be too bold to ask for?”

A nervous chuckle left her lips, “You already kissed me…”

His lips curved in a sheepish grin, “Well, I suppose I’m asking for another kiss. A proper goodnight kiss…” He whispered, hope shining bright in his eyes.

“Oh…”

“Can I kiss you, Alina?” The words were barely a whisper, the request so tender, so honest… Alina nodded, at last completely lost for words. Nikolai leaned in, the space between them growing smaller and smaller with each heartbeat and each breath until… If the moments watching the stars had been wonderful, the moment his lips touched hers was… Magical. It was a soft and shy press of the lips, but it was everything Alina had wondered it would be. A sigh left her slightly parted mouth and Nikolai deepened the kiss just a bit, his lips gliding over hers for a moment, goading Alina into kissing him back. She was dizzy, lightheaded, light as a feather. The press of Nikolai’s lips on hers was all kinds of wonderful, making her heart beat so hard it was a wonder he couldn’t hear it as well. And then, far too soon for her taste, the kiss was over.

Hand cupping her face, Nikolai slowly opened his eyes and smiled at her. A slightly drunk smile, goofy and so unlike his usual confident smirk. “You are… Exquisite, Alina.” He leaned in again and brushed his lips over hers in one fleeting kiss, “Exquisite…” He stepped away, his hand lingering for a moment, “Goodnight, Alina. Sweet dreams.”

Breathless and faint from this wonderful kiss, Alina leaned back on her door, “Goodnight, Nikolai…” She uttered and watched as he stepped away, backtracking into his quarters, his gaze never leaving hers. And he went inside, not looking away until he really had to.

Alina closed her eyes and lingered on that spot. Saints help her… She was dizzy and so hot. Her poor little heart seemed to beat so, so fast. She was sure she would faint if it didn’t slow down soon. Her eyes flickered to his closed door once more. What a wonderful and magical night it had been. Oh, how wonderful and magical.

Just… Perfect.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nikolai going all out for the sweetest first date with Alina is one of my fave headcanons for these two, can you tell? x3
> 
> comments/fangirling is the best <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novokribirsk has a lot in store for Alina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, a huge, warm thank you to users csenny, green babe and distantstars for their support on the previous chapter. I've been feeling super down about my writing and this fic and your comments helped a lot, so thank you very, very much <3<3<3<3<3
> 
> secondly, yes, the rating is up, enjoy!

 

 

 

Novokribirsk. Tsibeya was just a speck compared to this port. Tsibeya had been a town, Novokirbirsk was a city.

So large it spread throughout the land until the eye could no longer discern any details at all, the streets weaved themselves over the land and through the hills, stopping just short where the woods began.

People of all places crossed the streets, their diversity almost dizzying. Alina could recognize but a handful of cultures, all others new and mysterious. She ached to know more about them, about this city, about everything. All her life… So secluded, so _limited_.

“The main square is where we’ll find most of what you need. There are some streets dedicated just to clothing and such,” Nikolai said, walking with her through the crowds, “But the main square is where there’s more variety of shops. Considering we’re here only for a day or two, it’s our best shot.” He eyed a florist booth for a moment before turning his attention back to Alina, “The tourist route will stay for another time, I’m afraid.”

She nodded, following him wherever he wanted to take her. Alina was just too overwhelmed by everything surrounding her to be the one making decisions. All the people, the voices, the languages, the colours. There were pirates, filthy and dangerous and there were officers of the navy, Alina recognizing the elegant uniforms from books and the occasional official visit to the ports. There were people from both sides of the law. And everyone seemed to get along quite well… “Pirates _and_ officers?”

“It’s a neutral port,” Nikolai answered, his hand holding hers close, “Because it’s such a strategic point, a place where everyone stops, Novokribirsk used to experience a lot of… Damages.” He flashed a smirk, “Eventually, a treaty was made. Unless you break the laws of Novokribirsk, you’re free to roam the streets. Only once you’re outside Novokribirsk land or its sea boundaries can you be caught by whoever is after you. Or not. Ah! Here we are.”

They stood at the entrance of the famous main square. A large wooden pole stood at its middle, strings of colourful fabric flowing from its top to the four corners of the square. On all its sides, the most colourful shops stood, selling all sorts of things. From the best pies in all seven seas to the best frock coat tailor, Nikolai said as he pointed to Alina all his favourite shops. After an hour of going through each and every shop, Alina finally demanded for some rest, “Please, you showed me every shop and I’ve yet to buy new shirts!”

Nikolai bowed and a remorseful smile curved his lips, “My apologies, sunshine. Here, I’ll take these back to the ship while you get your clothes.”

She eyed him for a moment, “All right, but don’t take long. I really don’t know this place.” Novokribirsk was an endless maze of which she knew little to nothing about. It would be so easy for her to wander off and get lost.

“Fear not, love. I’ll return in half an hour. Stretch your time if you must, or we can meet at this very bench if you prefer.”

She nodded, “We can meet here.”

Nikolai took her bags and bowed, “Very well. The bench it is.”

 

* * *

 

Forty five minutes later, Alina waited, sitting on that bench. With time to spare after buying new shirts, a new nightgown and even a new coat, Alina got some sweet snacks she’d noticed upon entering the main square, their wonderful scent having stolen her attention right away. She ate in peace, watching the clock tower, and waited.

Now, with all food gone and still no Nikolai, worry began to grow in the pit of her stomach. As the afternoon stretched on and the square emptied of people, it was clear that soon only the less trustworthy patrons would linger outside. Alone in an unknown place, Alina knew this wasn’t safe. At all.

“I better get going…” she muttered to herself and got up.

“It’s her!” A rough voice called from behind and a cold chill froze her heart.

She turned around, panic already urging her to run, and saw them. Three men, tall and burly and blonde. That blonde. Fjerdan. A scream got stuck in her throat as she saw their gaze locking on her, recognition turning their eyes into those of hunters out for blood.

No, it couldn’t be! It couldn’t! She searched their outfits, looking for any sign that she was wrong. Wrong!

An emblem. That emblem… No, no, no, no!

“Alina?” Another voice. Nikolai!

Fearing for his safety, Alina turned to warn him, to send him away. But as soon as he noticed the three men and the way they looked her way, Nikolai was rushing to her side, sword drawn, a bouquet of flowers fallen where he’d stood. Alina had only a moment to register them, their lovely red and pink petals scattered on the ground, before Nikolai was by her side and positioning his body as to shield her from the Fjerdan men. “Are you all right?” She nodded, “Come on, we have to go!” He caught her hand and ran. Alina looked once over her shoulder, just enough to see the assassins running after them. Nikolai’s presence forced them to choose speed over discretion.

Bullets flew past them and Alina screamed, panic and surprise ruling over any other thoughts. Guns? They had guns? No one brought guns to capture a person, no one. Her suspicions had been correct after all, they had sent Fjerdan _assassins_ after her. As if her disappearance wasn’t enough, Keramzin wanted to be sure she was dead. Biting back unexpected and bitter tears, Alina made sure to keep up with Nikolai’s pace, who took her through turns and dark alleys, trying his best to lose their attackers. “We can’t fight them, not when they clearly won’t fight clean.” He rasped, turning another corner and pulling Alina down just as a bullet almost grazed her shoulder, “So we have to lose them and find a place to hide.”

“Where?!” She gasped before slipping on a rock as they turned another corner.

The alley soon opened into one of the main streets, this one still full of people as it had been earlier that day. As the sun set, though, the passers-by changed as the night crowd began to pour into the streets. Nikolai’s calculating gaze went from person to person, from shop to shop until… Alina saw the way his lips curved in a smirk that she knew all too well. It was the same smirk that always brought trouble her way. Nikolai tugged her into the crowd, “I know where we can hide. You won’t like it, though.”

There it was. Trouble.

“Where?” she asked, dreading his reply.

 

* * *

 

“Would you like some hot water as well, sir?”

Nikolai looked from the recently lit up fireplace, his gaze flickering from Alina to the inn owner. Outside, wind had picked up and thunder seemed to rumble in the distance. A storm was brewing. Alina still refused to look his way, her cheeks as pink as those flowers that seemed permanent in her mind now. Lovely, pretty flowers Nikolai had bought for her. Ruined, because Keramzin wouldn’t let her be. Nikolai cleared his throat, “Hot water?”

The older man nodded, “For the bath.”

“Ah, yes. Yes, please. Oh,” He walked to the man, passing right by Alina. She looked away and focused her gaze on the shut window, “And please, bring some food as well.”

“Ah, dinner?”

“Yes. And,” She heard the ruffling of papers, “This is payment for the room, water, food and _discretion_.” The man gasped but remained silent as Nikolai continued, “Absolute discretion, please. No one is to know we are here.”

“Oh yes, sir. No one will.” Alina swore the man’s gaze had flickered to her, his words borderline lewd. Her blush only grew darker.

Nikolai cleared his throat, “I need you to do another thing for me. Please, go to the port. To the very end of the pier, where a woman with golden eyes and a set of three knives will be. Give this to her. The money pays for all of your trouble and even more.” His tone demanded respect, the complete fulfilment of his requests. Alina knew that even if the inn owner wasn’t a trustworthy man, tonight he would keep his word. Whether it was because of the money or Nikolai’s tone… Well, she wasn’t sure about that. But she would bet it was a bit of both.

A door shut.

Nikolai sighed, “Well, that’s that. We’re safe now.”

Alina wasn’t sure. Safe from her attackers? Yes. Safe from Nikolai? Not really. She dreaded the moment the man returned with the water for the bath.

Because a part of her wanted to see what would happen then.

 

* * *

 

To think Nikolai would have gone first seemed ridiculous now. As the hot water moved around her, warming her body into a sleepy relaxed state, Alina berated herself for dreading this bath. Nikolai had been nothing but a gentleman. From insisting on her taking the bath first, to covering himself with the sheets to prove he wouldn’t peek, the captain had surprised her time and time again.

Now he lounged on the bed, his focus always at a respectful distance. He let out a long sigh, “It was never my right to know the full truth, sunshine, but… Today these men tried to kill you, no matter what.” She bit her lip, already guessing his next words, “Were it any other situation, I wouldn’t ask. But I’m afraid I need the truth, Alina. Please, tell me the truth. That’s the only way I can do my very best to help you.”

It took her a long time before speaking. She bought as much time as she could, slipping under the water once, twice. Until the question hanging in the air became too heavy to ignore. She heaved out a sigh, “Do you remember when we first met?”

“Which time?”

She rolled her eyes, so he _did_ remember her. “The very first.”

Nikolai hummed, “Yes, you looked ravishing. Or ready to let your block of wood ravish on anyone.” He sounded so amused. Alina rolled her eyes again.

“I wasn’t just on a random journey.” He remained silent, but she knew he was listening, “It was the only time I was allowed out of Keramzin, before my engagement to its crown prince became official and thus… My freedom to leave the country unattended became a faraway dream.”

“Oretsev.” He said, his tone unkind.

“Yes. I… I’m not just… Alina. I am… I am Alina Starkov, the last living member of the Solis royal family.”

“Solis…” Nikolai let out and Alina wondered how much he knew of the now gone kingdom.

“Yes.” She played with the water for a moment, watching the fire slowly turn the logs to nothing but ashes. Just like the Keramzinian armies had done with Solis and everyone and everything within it. “I was just a baby when Solis was taken. My family was killed, as was everyone that could impose a threat. I was spared, as was a family friend of mine. He was barely sixteen at the time. The plan of Keramzin’s king was for me to grow as Keramzinian, loving the kingdom as much as a natural citizen, loyal to its flag as any of their soldiers. Alexei…” Her voice wavered, memories of her only friend in that palace coming back all at once, “He swore allegiance to Keramzin, promising to teach me and educate me in the manners they desired. But he only did it to make sure he was the one teaching me. To make sure I still had a friend, to make sure…” She took a breath and shut her eyes, needing more than a breath before continuing.

Nikolai spoke then, “You don’t have to continue, Alina. If you don’t want to…” His voice was tender, regretful.

She shook her head, willing away her tears, “No, I want to. It’s the least I can do…” She continued, “Alexei made sure I grew up with Solis in my heart, Nikolai. He defied their orders time and time again, while smiling and acting like a perfectly converted person.”

“Why?”

“One last try. One last attempt at keeping Solis alive. There wasn’t any real plan, not really… Just… To make sure I didn’t become their puppet. One day rebellions would come alive, and if I remained true to Solis, I could lead them.” No one ever contacted her though, and any signs of rebellions were always snuffed out… “The Oretsevs kept me where they could see me, always. I grew up with Malyen and we became friends. For a while I actually looked forward to our official engagement. I was in love with him and Malyen with me. Well, I thought so. I don’t think I’ll ever know the truth…”

“What happened?” He asked, sensing more to her words than what she let out.

“I was inexperienced and Mal was the only boy I’d ever been close to, the only one I’d ever kissed. And I was nervous. Shortly before my trip to Ketterdam, Mal and I got into a heated kiss… And when I said I wasn’t ready for more… We got into a heated argument.”

Nikolai held back an angry sound, “Did he…”

She shook her head, “No. He let me go. And then I went on my trip, which wasn’t technically allowed. When we returned home, I was forbidden from ever leaving the palace grounds. Until the engagement and the wedding, I was to never go out again. And Alexei…” A sob climbed up her throat, “He paid dearly…”

Nikolai sat up then, a wild fire in his eyes, “They killed him?”

“No… They tortured him, let him go as a living warning of what could happen if we got out of line again.”

Nikolai rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head, “And I saved you to go back to that…”

Alina chuckled, the sound empty and bitter, “You didn’t know.” She wiggled her toes in the water, remembering the first time they’d met. If only she could have known… If only. She would have asked Nikolai for help, even if he was a pirate. She heaved a shaky breath, “Things got quiet during the next few months. Until one night I couldn’t sleep and managed to sneak out of my room. I wanted to talk to someone. My first option was Mal, since we had gone back to good terms. When I got to his room though…” Bile formed in the pit of her stomach at this memory, “The door was cracked open and I heard some noises inside it. I couldn’t really place them, sleepy and tired and lonely… But then I looked inside and there he was. Mal… with some woman. The sounds they made…” Her eyes prickled with unshed tears, “They were loud and… dirty and… obscene.”

“Alina…” Nikolai’s voice was but a whisper. He didn’t want her to continue, not if it hurt her that much.

She shuddered, “It-It’s fine… I have to tell this to someone. Or it’ll rot inside of me and poison what is left…” A deep breath, a cold shiver trickling down her as the worst memory drew nearer, “I ran, pretty sure they didn’t even notice me, and ran to Alexei. I needed his comfort, his friendship. The only thing that I still could trust in. I didn’t even realise something was different when I got to his room, that’s how disturbed I was. But then I noticed the change in the air. It grew colder, it smelled foul… I stopped just outside his door, unsure I should go on, when everything around me felt so… off.”

“Off?”

“Yes… Off. Like I should turn around and run. But I didn’t. I went inside.” She paused, eyes shut so tight it hurt her, “Blood everywhere. Blood, Nikolai. On the floor, on the sheets, on the walls… I nearly slipped. They cut his throat, while he slept. It was ugly, because they did it so he would trash around until he died.” She shook her head, “I saw the cut, it wasn’t a clean cut. It was… It was to make sure he knew he was dying.”

“Alina…”

She ignored him, “Then I heard sounds. Someone was coming. I had to hide. I climbed under his bed, tucked into a ball and waited.” She shuddered, “Men came inside, talking. And that was when I found out the extent of the king’s plans.”

“What did they say?”

“Well,” She shrugged, “First they decided to get rid of the body. They’d left to go get stuff to do it, I suppose. Then they said the worst. Alexei was killed because a rebellion was being prepared and he’d crossed enough lines already. And I was to be next.”

“What?!” Nikolai sat up, engrossed and enraged as he was by her tale.

She nodded, tears flowing fast now, “After the wedding, I would have an awful accident. Not sure what, but it would be during the honeymoon. And the kingdom would cry my death, and the rebels would give up, if there were still any.”

“Did he know?”

He didn’t need to say any name, “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not, but he clearly didn’t care for me the way I cared for him.” A long silence stretched on, and Alina got out of the bath, giving Nikolai his turn. When he was safely inside the water, when she had recovered a little of strength, Alina continued her story. “There was nothing left for me in Keramzin.”

“So you left…”

“So I left.” She nodded, her back to him, completely wrapped in a long towel. “And ran straight to you.” She laughed, the first honest and warm sound she’d let out since entering the room.

Nikolai heaved a sigh, “Saints, Alina… And here I thought my life was crazy. Well, at least you found me again. You couldn’t be safer with anyone else.” He said, his tone almost merry.

Alina rolled her eyes and spared him a glance, carefully avoiding looking anywhere but his face. Thank the saints he’d pulled the bathtub a little from the fireplace. “What do you mean with your life being crazy? I mean, you’re a pirate but…”

“Privateer, sunshine. Privateer.” He corrected her, “Well, Alina… You’ll be surprised to find that you’re not the only member of a royal family in this room.”

She frowned, “What?”

“I’m Nikolai Lantsov, second son of the queen of Ravka. And without any claim to the throne.”

A needle could have been heard dropping in the silence that followed his words. Alina blinked, “Oh.”

“Oh, indeed. Well, before you ask, yes I did take up the life of a privateer out of my own volition. I love the sea. Its vastness and freedom, its wild soul… It called to me. Yes, I would have loved the chance to rule Ravka one day, I love my country… But the court didn’t want me, so I left. I used to think my life was crazy but now…” He let out a breathy chuckle, “I’m so sorry for everything, Alina. I wish… I wish I could have helped.”

“How?”

“Ravka should have helped Solis when they needed it.” He sounded so certain, so angry for being a kid and not an adult in charge of armies.

Alina shook her head, “Ravka was too far from us. Fjerda helped with the conquering and Shu Han stood aside, calmly ignoring it all. Or maybe our cries for help reached them too late, I don’t know. But no help came, not in time anyway. News reached Ravka months after everything happened, probably. And by then there was no use in helping Solis.”

Nikolai sighed, “Still…” he splashed the water, “Saints, I was hoping for a romantic evening and managed to turn it gloomy and depressing.”

She stared at the fire, ignoring the butterflies that fluttered in her belly. A romantic evening? She played cool, “Well, you did ask why someone was trying to kill me.”

“True.” Water splashed around and a grunt followed. Alina’s cheeks heated up a little as she tried her best to not look around and catch an ‘accidental’ glimpse. “Well, that was a very nice bath. I feel a little better already. You don’t?” He was overly cheery, obviously trying hard to chase away the gloom of their conversation.

“Yes, a little.” She admitted, still tightly wrapped in her towel.

Nikolai hummed and Alina realised with a startle that he was much closer now. “When I saw those men coming for you, with death in their eyes… I was terrified.” He said, much lower than before, “I thought… One minute later and…” A shaky breath brushed her neck, “I could have lost you. Failed in the one thing you asked me to do. And lost you…” Nikolai pressed a kiss on her shoulder, “I don’t know what I would have done.”

Alina closed her eyes, fighting the desire to crumble to bits with his words and kiss and proximity. He was so, so close… She took a breath, “It’s all right now. You got there in time and we lost them. I’m fine. Thanks to you.”

Nikolai walked around her, probably to offer another argument, but a nervous laughter escaped from her lips when she saw him from the corner of her eye. He frowned, quite comically, “Why are you laughing, Alina?”

“You’re naked!” She said, her voice a little pitchy and breathy.

 He looked down and put his hands on his hips, “Damn. I really am.” He tsked, “Should have paid for an extra towel.” A dramatic sigh followed his words, “Oh well, I’ll just get dried here by the fire. You don’t mind, do you Alina?”

She looked away, as hard as she could and laughed even more, “You’re such an idiot, Nikolai!”

“Yes, yes I am. Forgot to pay for an extra towel…”

Alina laughed and laughed, thankful for the way it freed her of her worries and sad memories, thankful for the way it rid her of the knots that had grown heavy on her shoulders. Eventually the sound died out, until only its ghost remained, right there, on the way her lips curved up in a tiny smile.

Nikolai drew closer and reached up to play with a lock of her hair, “I wish I could do more for you Alina… You’re incredible, you deserve the world.” He breathed, fingers twisting the hair around and around. He shook his head, “How I got so lucky to have a chance to meet you… I have no idea.”

Her heart raced, and it thundered so fast, she swore Nikolai could hear it from where he stood. A sigh left her lips when he brushed his knuckles on her cheek, and her eyes fluttered closed as he moved down her jaw. He traced the lines of her face with the patience of a saint and the devotion of a disciple. She heard the way his breath caught when his thumb reached her lips, and she felt the way her own breath caught when he took his time tracing their shape, brushing the pad of his thumb over her lower lip once, twice. A shuddered whimper escaped her control as a third brush sent her body into shut down. This was too much, too much yet too little. Not enough. She ached for more. For more of his touch, for more of his kisses, to be so completely tucked in his embrace that the whole world would simply disappear from her mind.

She took a deep breath. She turned to him and watched as his eyes snapped up from her mouth. Heart thundering, she reached for her towel and held his gaze. And the sound of fabric pooling around her feet echoed through the whole room. Nikolai’s eyes widened a fraction and travelled down her body, a shaky breath parting his lips ever so slightly.

A violent blush heated her whole body. For a moment that seemed to last forever, Nikolai took in the sight of her, his eyes wide open in… in what? Alina swore it was wonder, but it couldn’t be, could it? He looked up and shook his head, bewildered with it all, “You really are incredible, Alina… Beautiful beyond words.” The words came out in a shaky breath, his voice thick with emotion.

Feeling a little braver, Alina finally looked at him. Really looked. Saints, he was beautiful. She watched the golden glow of his perfect skin, taunt around his toned muscles, still wet and shiny from the bath. His tall and perfect frame was a sight to behold and Alina swore no one else could compare, never. Her gaze travelled down, over his stomach and across his hipbones and down, down, down. Beautiful, so beautiful.

“Alina…” Her name brought her back to this moment and she looked back into his eyes. A heartbeat passed between them, shared between their hearts, before he reached for her and kissed her.

It wasn’t a soft brush like their first kiss. No, this kiss held secrets. This kiss was passionate and fierce, every worry and laugh and tease poured into it. Alina circled his neck and pulled him flush against her, kissing him back with as much emotion as he kissed her. A grunt formed in the back of his throat when Nikolai picked her up and took her to bed, his lips never leaving hers, not even to breathe. Who needed air anyway?

His air was hers and hers was his and that was enough. For a while, at least. His lips glided over hers, massaging moan after moan out of her. His tongue tempted hers into a deeper kiss, the two parting their mouths and deepening it without hesitating. Alina passed her fingers through his hair, its tips damp from the quick bath, the rest of it dry and thick and perfect. It was like water through her fingers, warm and relaxing water, the kind she knew to be found in exotic and wild islands, in secret lakes hidden deep in lush forests. The kind of water known to hold miracles within it.

Nikolai was on top of her, his hands moving down her body, tracing every line and curve and dip. Lungs crying out for air, the kiss was broken as the captain’s mouth travelled down her body. He showered her skin with kisses and promises. He kissed her collarbone, he kissed her chest, he kissed her nipples and all around her breasts. He kissed her bellybutton and traced her hipbones, etching kisses and prayers onto her skin and down, down, down.

Alina’s heart was a poor little thing that was close to exploding to bits. These kisses, these breaths, these touches… His lips moving down and down and down, her body aching with anticipation as he moved closer to her centre, closer and closer. A gasp was on her lips at the first touch of his tongue. Then a moan as he teased her, slowly pushing her, slowly throwing more wood into the fire that was her whole body. She burned so bright, her blood rushing so fast and boiling to nothing. And then, when she thought she would die from this, Nikolai’s tongue was gone, leaving nothing but a cold emptiness and a whimper on her lips.

“I’m here, Alina. I’ll never leave you, sunshine…” He whispered into her open mouth before giving her a tender kiss and carefully taking her under the sheets. “I have a secret to share, sunshine… Before, before we do this… Can I tell you?”

Saints, she loved his voice so much. It was so raw, so honest… “Yes, please do…” _I’ll tell you one of mine if you do_.

And then the world stopped. Stars halted their lives. Birds held their wings in place. “I love you, sunshine. So much, I think there’s nothing but love running through my veins.” The words were out and the world had stopped just to hear them.

And Alina’s heart was on the verge of being nothing but a memory. Her eyes fluttered for a moment and focused on his hazel ones, taking in all those specs of gold lost in that deep sea of caramel, surrounded by wisps of green. Saints, his eyes were a wonder of their own. And she loved them so much, so much… “I love you too, Nikolai. I love you too.” She rasped, breathless with it all, with Nikolai, with her love that had grown so much and without her realising it was there. It crept up to her, steady and silent, sinking roots deep in her heart until her heartbeat was ruled by Nikolai and Nikolai alone.

He smiled then, so wide and so bright, it took her breath away, “You have no idea how happy those words make me, sunshine… I’ll take it easy, all right? And if you want me to stop, I will.” And then, no words were uttered again as he took her smiling lips within his own and eased into her, rolling his hips against hers with slow and steady moves.

Hands tightly laced together and temple to temple, Nikolai and Alina began to move together. A slow rhythm at first, Alina felt completely lost in the moment, drunk in the feeling of Nikolai inside of her, moving in and out and drawing moans and gasps out of her. Moan after moan, Alina couldn’t help but wonder at the way her body reacted so happily to his. The press of his torso, the weight of his hips, his length inside her… A sound between a moan and a whimper climbed out of her lips when he groaned and rocked a little harder into her. “Oh… Holy…”

His chuckle was so unexpected yet fitting, “Holy indeed…” Nikolai groaned, as if in pain, and held her knee higher. Instantly, Alina felt their little moment already improving. “I want tonight to be perfect, sunshine… So let me know, please…” His groan had her eyes rolling in their sockets and she almost missed his words, “Let me know…”

“Very good… Don’t stop. Don’t stop… More…” She moaned, barely able to word anything better. Nikolai took her answer and picked up his pace just a little, but enough to have Alina moaning his name louder and louder.

She was certain this didn’t happen often, feeling the edge drawing so soon and so fast, that moment of complete ecstasy so close, so close, so close. When it came, oh saints, when it came… His name was a loud cry on her lips, the sound raw and perfect and so loud she was certain everyone in Novokribirsk could hear her. It didn’t matter. Because she was so completely and overwhelmingly ruined, her body having turned to nothing but dust. Dust…

Nikolai groaned her name, his hold on hers tightening for a brief moment before a shudder shook his whole body, as his release finally came. Finally.

A long silence stretched then, hanging between the two of them as their breathless bodies tried to return to a semblance of calm. Nikolai kissed her nose, “Hey…”

She smiled a languid smile, her eyes hooded with exhaustion, “Hey…”

“How do you feel?” He whispered and kissed her cheek before nuzzling his nose on her flushed skin.

“Ah…” Alina noticed how her throat could still work somehow, “Like I just died and went to heaven?” She chuckled, pure and utter bliss running through her veins, “This was… saints…”

Nikolai hummed in agreement, “Again… Indeed.” He rolled off of her then and quickly laid down. Alina closed what little space was left between them and he tucked her under his arm before pressing a soft kiss on the crown of her head, “We should rest; make good use of this room and bed. No?”

She nodded, her ear right where his heart was beating. Oh, she loved that sound. So beautiful, so pure, so wild and wonderful. So… Nikolai…

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, the plot thickens!  
> as does the romance alksjdaksjd
> 
> comments/fangirling is precious, precious, precious <3


End file.
